A combination of factors, really..

Wah.. It's been almost 2 weeks since I last put out an entry.. and I have many things on hand to write about...Let's start..in chronological order..

During the Manchester United vs Arsenal match, I remember, that as the tackles were flying in fast and hard and both teams were on the verge of a brawl, a certain Brazilian by the name of Edu, either maintained a distance from the Red Devils or sought to be the peacemaker between both teams. Strange no? Not really, you see, Edu has been linked to Man United as his contract with the Gooners runs out next June. Surely he wouldn't want to piss off his prospective paymasters, yeah? And even if Edu doesn't move north to the prospective champions, he would still have got into the good books of his manager, who these days looks like he and his team are losing the plot in the buildup to the halfway of the Premiership season. By the way, have you noticed the uncanny coincidence both Arsenal and their manager have with their names? They both start with A-R-S-E!!

On 30th October, Ah Wai, Diana's grandmother's friend who lives with Diana's family, passed away. She was 76. We had been expecting this for a few weeks already. She's been in and out of hospital that it was almost ridiculous not to have her thoughts of her imminent death running through your mind. I visited her on the Wednesday of the week that she passed on to eternity. She looked sick, haggard and had an inflated stomach. Diana said it was hard, I didn't dare to touch. She could still speak and could remember who we were. I remember as a rather cheeky (yes, cheeky) old lady who was satisfied with simple pleasures such as rice and some dishes for her meals.

She would always come round whenever I had dinner at Diana's and flash a monkey face at me. I still remember there was once I was walking out of the kitchen and she was standing at the door. As I walked past, she laid a good fiver on my ass.. I was like ?!!?!!? She was oft lonely; seldom did people speak to her, myself included, except when they needed her to do something for them, myself not included. There she would be in the corner watching television, or on the couch in the living room, being with everyone, being around everyone. You see, her family ditched her years back. Diana and I tried asking Ah Wai about it that Wednesday, but she quickly replied, albeit curtly, "Boh, boh kia." (No, I don't have kids/family.) I also fondly remember those times during my polytechnic days. I would go to Diana's house for dinner and there she would be, watching tv in her corner while we had dinner.. We would shout out her name and then pretend that we didn't call her.. Sometimes I wondered what her "blur" face meant.. Did she know we were playing tricks on her? Anyway, she's gone to a better place. To be with Jesus. Diana was regretful that she didn't give Ah Wai as good a life as she wanted to. I agreed. Yet, I assured Diana that if there was anyone who really cared for and thought for Ah Wai, it was herself.

The wake was on Saturday night and the funeral was the next day. I kept watch during the night, with Ben and then later on with Christina, Serena and Michelle, all Diana's cousins.. As I begin to grow up, I realise how painful and near death has been to me. I watched Aunty Shirley (Jennifer's mum) die before my eyes and now I see Ah Wai, a lady whom I met just three days before she died, die. If Aunty Shirley's death was real to me (umm.. I actually saw the heartbeat monitor go.. beep.. beep.. beep.. beep.........................) , surely Ah Wai's was. Like Uncle Yau Seng said in church, when someone dies, it's those who're left behind that feel the pain and heartwrench. Goodbye then, Ah Wai. I hope to meet you again someday, in paradise, where there will be no more tears, no more worries, no more pain.

As Diana might have already pointed out though she didn't need to, it was quite obvious, there was zay-roh cell group member during the wake or funeral service, barring me and Valerie and Debra. We had to be there lah.. Initially, I thought that they hadn't received my sms.. but a quick check with Valerie showed that they did.. So, what's the deal? What's the excuse? Where is that brotherly/sisterly love/maturity that we once so proudly lay claim to? That once so-called togetherness that distinguished us from the other cell? Sigh, it's all a surface thing don't you see? Yes the other group seemed childish/immature initally, but looked where they are today? Their enthusiasm to meet and go out together sets them apart from us. Like I told Diana, let's then try not to have expectations. What for? Your world will only seem smaller and you'll be more miserable..chill.

I went back to Alfa, the place where I now cut my hair, that day. The last time the lady cut my hair which was about 2 weeks back, it hadn't been short enough. She was nice enough not to charge me, except for a wash, which was good by the way. Think Diana can't wait to go there for a cut..

I went to Ikoi this monday, 1st November, for dinner. It was Ikoi's anniversary.. So there was a lot of "special" dishes served.. saw my supposed lookalike Christopher Lee (the Singapore Idol outcast), at Miramar Hotel... went there with my family, Diana and Valerie and her family, which included Debra "I-can-eat-a-lot" Yuen and Jeanette, whom I usually cheer up (actually it's disturb..) whenever she cries. I was looking forward to the good meal.. I remember thinking about it on the morning itself as I wasgoing to work.. ah well that was good.. We headed to Haagen Dazs afterwards and I had myself a Chocolate Decadence along with a great time overall..

Awhile ago, Miss Wong, the AAO (Asst. Admin Officer) of HQ SWI wanted to remove our weekend offs for duty.. She was duly supported by the ISM, SWO Jeffrey.. And so it was nearly cast in stone till THAT evening at roll call. Comd SWI/CO SAFWOS wanted to talk to us because certain NSFs in HQ SWI (the new unit that occupies the 4th floor of my unit's building; the HQ whom we're under) were taking a ridiculous amount of MCs given their short stay at HQ SWI. After COL Kuek finished with that, he proceeded onto the topic I was waiting to hear.. I still remember standing in the front row.

COL Kuek: As for your weekend duty, if you do them, go for your off. Take your duty off. I'm the Commander, I call the shots.

I was like... ??!? whaa?! Power leh this guy.. Immediately I would have gone to work if he asked me to.. Sorry to say this.. but maybe this is why he's an officer, he knows how to motivate his men. Hehheheh.. boy was I delighted.. and so were my mates!!

I went for JWOC [a course attended by Master Sergeants (MSG)] team building last friday, 05/11/2004, at Kent Ridge Park. I volunteered as it was near my place. I went for the recce the day before.. SWO Yeoh, MWO Lim and myself, we walked through the trail.. I was showed the stuff I had to do on the actual day and then.. I got to go home!! On the day itself, (which is actually the next day) I got changed and met with the driver, medic and a MSG. The minibus couldn't start so we were delayed for about half an hour.. In the end we went in a Mercedes-Benz.. well not those luxurious ones.. its kinda like a pickup.. don't know what the proper name is.. everything went on pretty okay, except for a group who thought they had to walk from Ginza Plaza to Pepys Hill... Cock. In these 2 days, I learnt a fair bit of the office politcs that are and have been going on between the Warrant Officers in my unit.. I think that they telling me such stuff shows that I'm a old bird there already, which also means I'm gonna ORD soon.. 11 months time..should be fast lah..*winks*

I was recently approached by my immediate superior MWO Tan to submit some desgins for the new 9 DIV/HQ Infantrt logo and the new HQ SWI logo.. Well.. I've been working on them.. I actually spent the whole of yesterday doing up some possible entries.. Wonder what my bosses would think of them.. I hope mine gets chosen..

I heard this phrase somewhere.. can't remember when though.. It's "terrified, mortified, petrified, stupefied by you"... hmm..terryfied..anyway.. just thought i pen it down..or rather type it down..

Oh.. btw I've seriously got to get down to packin' my room.. think i might wanna give up my couch so that my room is less cluttered.. but i might ask for a new shelf and take that wooden CD rack from upstairs.. and I'm looking for the full lyrics to the song we sang today in church... It had "You are the God, above all gods" and "Lord, please take away my hardened heart, replace it with your own"..anyone??

I was watching a show that day and one of the characters introduced me to the 3 rings of marriage. He said that "there's the engagement ring, there's the wedding ring and there's suffering."