Goodbye.. 2 of you..

I sat in church yesterday, thinking to myself how fast I have grown up over the years.. I'm like 21 this year... which means there are major decisions to make in the coming years.. university education, career path, marriage, family, etc. sigh.. and my campmate, Weisong, was telling me that you could actually be jailed for accidentally killing somebody! I'm like.. what if i drive and i really accidentally kill somebody... guulp..

I also realised that yesterday was going to be the last time (for a while) before 2 of my peers would be back attending church in Angora... Jackson's leavin' on a jet plane (ok, lame) to America for 4 years this Thursday morning to complete some engineering course..civil and structural was it? Or was it environmental? I felt sad as I read the card in the car after church that he wrote to me, the gloomy Sunday evening not doing anything to console my already melancholic self. With a shrug of my shoulders, I quickly brushed off what Jackson wrote in the card, not wanting to experience that pit-bottom feeling anymore...

"It is now time for me to bid farewell... We have grown up in Angora and it is sad to leave... Still remember Mr Lim bringing us out when we were younger...they will be preciouis memories... always. Many things will change in 4 years, but I pray the Lord will keep out friendship strong in Him.."

Jackson... I definitely remember those times Mr Lim brought us out. Though we weren't every close then, over time, God has brought us closer. One outing I definitely recall is the one to the Sentosa bridge. That night, both of us, along with a few others, gave our lives unto Jesus. We didn't exactly know what we were doing, what we were praying, what we were in for. But I thank God that we made THE decision of our lives. Will miss you as well... brother.

Sob.. sob.. must I get emotional over this? Is it okay to tear as I recall the past? Is it un-manly to cry? I used to beat myself up when I was younger whenever I cried when I argued with someone over the slightest issue. Through my teenage years, I formed this invisible wall around me, one that showed me to be strong, being able to contain my emotions and withstand any difficulties that came my way. It seemed that as I grew older and became more serious with God, this "wall" was gradually removed by Him.

I also found out yesterday that Kellyn wasn't going to come to church till November. Her mother banned her from Angora, thinking that the aunties in church were encouraging her to go out with ah-hem, instead of someone else. Ah well.. the complexities of a relationship... She'll be attending the same church as her mother in the mean time. Personally, I feel it's a load of crap.. like what many have said already.. Kellyn can always meet up with ah-hem outside of church, in school... they are in the same fac after all...on that same note, she can always meet up with the Angora aunties outside of church.. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder", doesn't it? It isn't any use trying to stem the feelings that are within the heart.. Maybe you should reason this out nicely with her, I mean she's 20 after all..

Okay, I'm like so dead. If anyone in church reads this, and Auntie Esther gets wind of what I wrote.. I'd be like.. wha.. siao liao.. not that I'm trying to impress anyone or what.. Just that I think this is by far one of the few times that I have been so publicly outspoken/critical of someone/something..

Auntie Esther, you might think that, I, with only the 21 years of rice passing through my stomach being less than the amount of salt you've taken all your life, would have the brains to at least be more respectful in bringing forth my opinion and maybe even not "teach" you how to run your family. But I've got to set this straight. I'm not teaching you how to run your family, all I've said above was merely my opinion about all that has happened. So Kellyn.. see you in November then.. By the way, this just came to mind.. Given all these "problems", it's probably the reason why Qiming doesn't like coming or isn't attending church anymore.. or maybe he just isn't serious about God no more...whateva..(so sad for someone though...ooops)

Update on the Manchester United front... Diego Forlan has been offloaded to Villareal (suckers) for a fee of £2 million. I'm pretty sure Ferguson read my blog on the Chelsea game and decided to take my advice and sell Forlan...

All for now..btw..if anyone of you have any disputes on whatever I wrote.. you have 2 options... accept it or accept it... no just kidding.. call me if you're dying to scream your head off at me/tell me your opinion...for what I said...

and I was dying inside to hold you
I couldn't believe what I felt for you