Terence is the same as Terry

2009-07-11T12:26:00.004+08:00

Did quiet time on the way to work Thursday morning..july 9th..

Revelation 22:1-6

1Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb 2down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. 3No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. 4They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. 5There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever. 6The angel said to me, "These words are trustworthy and true. The Lord, the God of the spirits of the prophets, sent his angel to show his servants the things that must soon take place."

Immediately, Michael Jackson's hit 'Heal the world' came to mind..

Thought? Jacko' sang to 'heal the world'; God has and will come to heal it.

Also, on that same bus.. one-decked (lame).. i was seated somewhere near the front.. that was this girl (not pretty though, ok out of point) who was reading her book, titled 'He's not that into you' or something like that.. apparently, she wasn't really into her book.. her book propped open, but her eyes firmly shut, head nodding. heheheh, what a sight. such irony.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD,

plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

btw, He is.. into you.
If only you believe, captain.. If only you believe..

looking back..

2009-05-16T10:26:00.002+08:00

at the path i ran, trudged, soldiered (at times)..

i feel relieved, that part of life is done. truly relieved. mm~

barring any anomalies,

i will graduate this august.

to God be the glory, honour, praise

for things (aplenty) He has done.

Numbers 9:15-23

2009-04-08T01:07:00.002+08:00

the cloud settled, the Israelites encamped.

the cloud lifted, the Israelites moved out.

at times for a few hours, other times for a few days.

each time, they followed God's lead and waited upon Him.

remember, to do the same.

my commisioning.

2009-03-13T15:18:00.002+08:00

Chien Chong's sermons last two sundays were a blessing.

1. God's purpose outlives God's people.
2. Moses knew his commission, and wasn't disappointed when his own people turned on him.

point to note.

a craze for the Christian race.

2009-03-01T21:12:00.004+08:00

today's worship and sermon spoke to me, immensely.

thank God for the direct encouragement and words that put things into perspective once more.

these are some noteworthy points i took home:
1. Look at Him who is invisible, just like Moses did.
2. Look to the reward at the end, just as Moses did.
3. Look to God.
4. Say no, let go.
5. God pulled me through tough times before (sm and what not), He certainly has the power to do it again and again and again.
6. Continue, persevere, in the midst of worldly pressure, but anchored upon God's sure and saving Word and Work.
7. The situations and experiences I go through, they're just temporal. (thanks bk, for the timely reminder)
8. Look at the bigger picture - on the grander scheme of things, how does my current state weigh against that?
___

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12:1-2

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

oh my goodness, i was looking for Matthew 6:33 and guess what followed it:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

___

Live for the audience of One. Jesus commands my destiny.

in Christ alone.

2009-03-01T20:53:00.000+08:00

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song;
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!
My Comforter, my All in All,
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone! – who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe!
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save:

‘Til on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied –
For every sin on Him was laid;
Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay,
Light of the world by darkness slain:
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine –
Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me;
From life’s first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny.

No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand;
‘Til He returns or calls me home,
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand!

seperating fact from fiction.

2009-02-25T22:14:00.002+08:00

it hasn't been easy doing that this week, alone.

such is life, where we live by the decisions we make.

korean karaoke.

2009-02-18T23:24:00.001+08:00

hilarious.

camel, gong li, water dessert..

what else can this park ji sung-lookalike come up with?

hee hee hee..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oGx2dImE8

hair heh heh.

2009-02-05T20:49:00.002+08:00

i have an obscene amount of shots of myself with different hairstyles.

i should put it up someday, and maybe do a poll for the public's favourite!

as if i'm like some celeb, huh.
____

wondering how he/she always get his/her way?
freakonomics at play, perhaps.

i lost my virginity today.

2009-02-05T20:39:00.002+08:00

not of the sexual sort, you wide-eyed, gaping-mouth, dummy.

won't say what, but nope, nothing of the sort where you'd wished that i kissed and told.

:) slim me slim, hopefully.

insensitivity.

2009-02-05T20:21:00.002+08:00

seems like some people are plagued with that, without realising it.

very sad. very very sad.

saw it rife over the CNY period.

thankfully, though, it didn't concern me directly. I wouldn't have given them anything less than a piece of my mind.

i recall..

2009-01-07T14:57:00.006+08:00

last year, somewhere late october-early november, during the final weeks before my term exams, problems arose from every possible area of my life..

from my health, to friendships, to relationships, to family, to diana's health (she had to go to hospital a week before my exams), to family appointments/errands, etc..

but by going through these situations, God taught me that when i work in future, and have my own career, these things will continue to remain and that i will have to prioritise them accordingly.

thank God for His wisdom to teach me this valuable lesson at the right time.

i survived my exams, and 5 semesters of university.

PTL.

shit.

2009-01-03T02:42:00.002+08:00

seems like 2009's troubles are already here.

this song springs to mind:
i look to the shepherd
he meets all my needs
beside the still waters, He faithfully leads
bringing peace to my soul..

at this point in time:
i am not looking to the shepherd
i probably don't trust him to meet all my needs
i know he faithfully leads but i'm not following
that's probably why there isn't peace in my soul.
--

on a brighter note, been stuck in front of the teevee past 2 days bringing myself and diana up to speed with 'The Little Nyonya' on mobtv, which by the way ends monday. think we watched something like 23 episodes in 2 days. going to finish the remaining 9 tomorrow. it's a good drama serial, good plot, etc. i should know. showoff.

more apparent.

2009-01-03T02:27:00.002+08:00

don't know why history repeats itself.

situ's words stick in my head.

it happened once a few year's back, it's happening again.

what is wrong with me? were my motives wrong? did i crave something more than what i should?

all i know is that it may be time to take my hands off. not ideal situation - i certainly feel i could do much more for them.

not anymore, like last time, not anymore.

since you want it, i pass it on to you.

it's better this way. no more second-guesses, no more fears, no more concerns, no more interference for you from me, in whatever battles you are fighting.

a pawn,
no more.

take bloody good care of them,
make no mistake though, i know the motivation for the battles you're fighting.

nothing to lose.

2009-01-03T02:08:00.006+08:00

been thinking about what someone once told me long time ago. i used to think that it didn't make sense, that it was a result of one drawing away from God. more so recently though, that person's words are starting to hold some truth, making some sense.

perhaps it's really better to slack off.
perhaps it's really easier on the heart if i didn't bother that much.
perhaps being a nominal youth leader would mean lesser problems.
perhaps life will really be more carefree without those concerns.
perhaps life will really be plagued with lesser worries if i didn't serve.
perhaps not investing so much time in people would protect myself.

then,
perhaps people will truly appreciate your work.
perhaps people will really know the difference that you make.
perhaps people will show concern for you because they really care for you and not because of some of other reason.
perhaps not investing so much time in people would protect myself.
perhaps it'll be cool to just come to church at 3.20pm, sit in, worship, listen to sermon, go home.
--
i just like to say that in life, things aren't exactly what they seem to be. in fact, things are never what they seem to be. and before anyone thinks that i'm being an eternal sceptic, i'm not.

it's true.

just stating what i know for some time now of others & myself. things are never what they seem they are - with others and with me.

we're all pawns in each other's battles.
we make others pawns in our own battles, where we ourselves reign as king.

a vicious cycle.
who prevails?
who will declare 'checkmate' 1st?
whose 'checkmate' will matter most?

time will tell. for now though, i can tell.

what will 2009 bring?

2008-12-31T22:56:00.004+08:00

a bumpy ride?

smooth & enjoyable times perhaps?

troubles & worries?

maybe viewing what life brings with a little indifference would help.

the year ahead's long. but heck.
just bring it.

JBe tempted.

2008-12-31T21:37:00.014+08:00

last-minute planned trip to JB for foooood & shopppping with diana. it was a good time away from the stressed-up singapore. we spent an absolute fortune on food and clothes. diana reckons she doesn't need to do her cny shopping anymore. yeah right, everytime we stepped into a shop, we stepped out with an additional bag and piece of clothing.

i bought 4 polo tees, and fully satisfied myself with bak kut teh & chicken cordon bleu.

took a bus in from kranji.

causeway.

johor's slumps, next to the newly developed immigration facility.

the new immigration facility.

cleared customs, walked to city square and

jalan wong ah fook to catch a cab to taman sentosa

photo op: take 1 - open your eyes leh!

photo op: take 2 - you look here, lah!

photo op: take 3 - finally.

the cabbie dropped us off somewhere in taman sentosa.

couldn't find the bak kut teh shop. ended up walking around for 20 minutes plus.

up this street..

down this one.

onto this one..

till i finally saw this street and recognised the lead up to the bak kut teh shop. all the time we were looking out for a 'big duck' - a symbol of another nearby coffeeshop.

the duck.

shun fa bak kut teh.

all in rm40 for both of us.. 3 person's share of pork ribs, pig's stomach, fish maw, you tiao, giam cai, tau kwa pok...

as expected, we licked it clean.

drinking tea, lotsa' them.

me father's favourite tea.

at jusco tebrau city, diana hit the shops!

after all the shopping, we couldn't be bothered carrying. so i just dumped them bags into a trolley to push around. super unglam, but heck la, in m'sia who see?

wanted to watch 'Yes Man' but was greeted with this notice.

uhm, ahem.

(no comment)

Chicken cordon bleu.

i take 'U'.

secret recipe's lamb pie - rm6! wahahahaha.

baskin' & robbins ice cream afterwards..

with a generous helping of nuts.

so we took a cab back from jusco tebrau city, paying only RM20. the *&*%$ taxi driver TO jusco conned me - he charged me RM18 - tt bugger. Customs clearance was smooth till we reached Singapore. tt's cos i had some ah hem, dumb dumb eat gum gum in my bag. Tot they would make it through as they were in 'plastic medicine-like bottles'. Well, they didn't.

After coming through the passport checks, I then thought I select a scanner queue. Put my bags through the machine. Came through the human metal detector thingy, and proceeded to pick up my bags. The officer behind the machine uttered something to his colleague. The lady officer then said, 'Sir, can you please open up your bag and give me your passport'. siao liao. After rummaging through my bag, the lady officer found the offensive items. 'Sir, can you please empty your pockets'. I did as told. She then proceeded to pat me down. Feel around me pockets, then she moved her hand across my stomach area, near the zip of my berms. sick. good thing i sucked in at that time, not so fat.

anyway, jokes aside, i was then to follow her to the room. diana went on outside to wait for me. i was then told that the items i was carrying was not allowed and would have to destroy them. They took my particulars down, I signed a book, emptied the stuff into a bin and was let off. Phew. Tot i get into some serious shit for that. heh. glad nothing major happened.

on mrt home. our day's plunder sans dumb gum. right.

it was a good way to end the hols.

i was wrong.

2008-12-30T00:32:00.002+08:00

vietnam beat the thais. outplayed them in the first leg in Bangkok; grabbed a plucky equaliser in the second in Hanoi to win the tournament in front of the partisan home crowd.

apparently, they drink much more of tomyam soup in vietnam than i originally thought.

there are many things to say, pictures to show.
hang around, drink tea.
there's lots of tea.

Angora Thanksgiving 2008.

2008-12-28T23:53:00.001+08:00

a time of thanksgiving for all that He has done for us - individually, as a family, as a cell group, as a church.

sharing was too short - dominated (excessively) by individuals whose sharing took so long, that the true purpose of thanksgiving tt day became lost.

yoong huat & family's sharing moved my heart. A family man, baring his heart and revealing his shortcomings before man, wanting to lead his family in God's way from now on.

said heart mover & family.

anna & I.

nice hair; not audrey's.
lovely lady Di.

the annual year-end leg raise.

told you she was crazy. :)

she put me up to this.

ok la, peace.

youth leaders: di, myself, titus, kel
TADA!!

---

at the pictures tt night - Australia!

pain in the leg.

gd'bye 2008, hellooo 2009!

Youth Thanksgiving 2008.

2008-12-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

the annual angora youth 'event of the year'. all present ditched them shirts and dresses to be decked out in their colourful best..

diana-eh na-eh na-eh eh eh

sisters tan.

me sis & me

$5 beads.

she was all yellow.sean 'louis' & I tim.

melv, the new yfm chair. (now we all get to sit on him.)

emcees for the night with that lousy liverpoo fan.

meaningful encouragements.

happy birthday, audrey.

2008-12-23T00:51:00.001+08:00

you are loved.

it's all gone pear-shaped.

2008-12-22T13:36:00.002+08:00

hands off, is perhaps the best option.

hmpf.
very unwilling to let go.

taking your chances.

2008-12-22T12:49:00.011+08:00

Had dinner last night with the usual in celebration of my father's 54th birthday.. too ex, i feel.

then i hopped into a cab with Diana & my sister to the National Stadium, to catch the last few minutes of the AFF Suzuki Cup Semi-Final.

We ran halfway round the stadium, and then back again before we could get in.

The idiot (major idiot) at the West Entrance wouldn't let us in. Dished out a verbal volley at him, so much for taming the tongue. Indeed 'out of the same mouth come praise and cursing', James 3:9-10 reminds us that 'this should not be'.

Ran to the North Entrance where the lax security ensured the 3 of us got in, with tickets of course (albeit someone elses).. Having emerged from the tunnel stairs leading to the stadium terraces, the same ol' nostalgic feeling and memories came flooding back. It was indeed good to be back. Back at the place where i could truly let go, put aside my inhibitions and just be.. Me.

Not much time to dwell upon that though.. We entered the stadium in the dying embers of the game.. Vietnam were already 1-nil up with a counter-attack.. their first of the game and they scored. Singapore threw caution to the wind, sending every possible Lion forward, save for the centreback and goalkeeper.

We stood directly behind the Singapore goal. We roared (I roared) and willed the Lions on, as if my enthusiasm and desire for a goal would serve as a support (additional strength, you could say) for the Lions from the back, going forward.

There was ONE chance. 83rd minute. A long throw-in on the right from Ismail Yunos was met by a flick-on from a fellow Lion, stirring up hope of an equaliser in the hearts of the 48,000 fans and also causing a flurry of action in the penalty box. Next thing i knew, the ball went out. Narrowly-wide.

Final-whistle soon sounded. The Lions deflated, fell on their knees. The Viets dancing around them. They later brought their flag and a picture of some VIP of theirs onto the pitch. They celebrated. They rejoiced. They acted as though they'd already won the Cup. Naive buggers. They thought they did well to stem the tide and attacks of the defending champions, believing that this win would mean they would be better equipped to lift the trophy that has since eluded them a decade ago where we beat them in the final in Hanot.

Little do they realise, amidst their partying last night, that the tomyam brigade lie in waiting. ooh, the Thais.. much as i dislike them (for support of my own team), i've got to admit they play a delicious brand of football. Come next Sunday, when it's all done and dusted.. Vietnam wouldn't know what hit them. Just like tomyam soup, it's enticing, it doesn't look at all dangerous, but when you have it, oooh.. it just hits you..

So bye bye vietnam, just as you were, last night, waving us Lion supporters away in sheer mock and delight, i'm sure that within some of you, seated in your corner of the stadium last night, you must as felt as though in waving to us, you were, truly, waving to yourselves, in the future - one week on.

Post-match, the 3 of us positoned ourselves strategically to do the next thing i do best at the stadium (apart from supporting the Lions and stunning the corner flag) - ask for jerseys.

I thought I would stand a good chance with Alam Shah, with my dyed hair and all.. (He had his dyed as well). He sold us a dummy, faking a throw, you bugger :)

Then thought I would also stand a good chance with Shi Jiayi, China-born Lion. Tried to get through to him, hoping he would throw me his jersey.. but he just shook his head a little.

THEN, came the other prized jersey. Indra Sahdan, jersey number 10. I shouted, got his attention.. He undid his captain's armband. He was going to throw it.. I was going to get it...

NO. He threw it straight up into the arms of some girl, who hanged on to it as if her life depended on it. I got a hand on it as well, on the sleeve, but I somehow grudgingly let go. I thought that it belonged to her, as she had the, excuse the pun, lion's share of the jersey. I just acted according to how I would expect to be treated if I were her. Alas, so near, yet so far.

Last night's trip to the stadium reinforced one lesson:

In life, one has got to take his/her chances - from finding my way into the stadium, to the Vietnamese scoring from their sole opportunity, the 83rd minute miss, my missed opportunity with Indra's jersey - for if we don't, then we might live to regret those moments.

God makes it possible, when circumstances deem the situation impossible

2008-12-08T22:02:00.003+08:00

Strategic Management
Individual Project: 7/20
Group Project: 23/30
Module Total: 70/100 (Distinction)
Therefore, Exam score was 40/50.

I don't deserve the exam score, much less the final grade.

Impossible, truly, is nothing.. for Jesus.

This will serve as a reminder for me for the future that God HAS THE POWER to drag me out of tough, bleak, hope-less situations (much like the one above). Especially relevant for when I start life as a working professional.

Praise God for solid grades for the rest of modules this sem, makes it all the more meaningful and worthwhile, especially cos' I experienced Him through His ministries even whilst preparing and going through my school term.

'nuff said.

knowing my role..

2008-11-28T01:42:00.002+08:00

it's fast approaching year-end once more and the inevitable, inescapable talk talk talk about what the new year is going to bring for us beckons..

i'm honestly unsure. i mean, apart from commencing my LAST semester in university, the other areas of me life remain a blur. maybe it's 'cause my walk with God has suffered in recent weeks that i feel this way.. maybe it's 'cause i've just been a bum at home the past few weeks, after exams!! :P

.. but really though, this year, and more so in recent months, it seems quite apparent that certain areas of my life are not ready for a 'Terence Ng'; on that same note, i guess it can also be said that Terence Ng isn't exactly ready for some of these areas as well!

The Rock (no, not Jesus) use to say with much aplomb,
'Know your role, and shut your mouth!'

Maybe i should be doing just that. Hmpf.

faux you.

2008-11-28T00:49:00.004+08:00

on pretense.
why do humans suffer from it?

lack of confidence? social acceptance? desire for attention?
nope, can't put a finger on it.

what i do know, is that it utterly stinks. it's putting off i tell you. see it all around. ugh, yuck, puke.

sometimes we should just tell it as it is, lah. but then again, not everyone is ready for such candor nor to face reality. i guess that's what drove away me bruddas.

so where do we draw the freaking line?

on gratitude.
why do humans ignore it?

devoid of emotion? socially undesirable? a god-given right?
nope, can't put a finger on it.

what i do know, is that it utterly stinks. it's putting off i tell you. see it all around. ugh, yuck, puke.

sometimes it's just difficult to tell those closest to you these things. then again, if it were so difficult, were we even close in the first place?

or was it all a pretense..
_____

sometimes, i wish such thoughts didn't plague me mind. sometimes, i wish i wasn't so much a thinker. sometimes, i thnk i'd be better off being oblivious to things.

perhaps, ~~Dickens'~~ my Great Expectations are just what they really are.. too great, too overwhelming..

i honestly don't know. But hopefully by the time i've come to terms with it, this song would not have become a reality.

I leave and heave a sigh and say goodbye - Goodbye!
I'm glad to go, I cannot tell a lie
I flit, I float, I fleetly flee, I fly
The sun has gone to bed and so must I

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, goodbye

everytime i see you..

2008-09-06T01:13:00.000+08:00

.. my blood boils.

you deserve shit.

the mere sight of you..

2008-09-03T00:50:00.003+08:00

..with what you've been doing behind others' back, and getting away with it time & again..

makes me sick.

the people we think we grew up with, were close with, and could trust?
they'll reveal their true self in due time. if only we were privy to it.

if only you were privy to it.
and you.
screw you.

identifying with them.

2008-09-02T01:12:00.002+08:00

saw royston tan's 15 again today - a feature film about ah bengs & ah sengs in Singapore.

it was a throwback to the past.. somewhat, not entirely, for sure.

one of the characters in the film, Shawn, said,

'In this world, there are no eternal friends or foes. Our friendship will last as long as it'll see us through'.

this obviously, is a very bleak outlook of life.

sometimes though, i wonder whether there is some truth what Shawn said.

not in the best of form,

2008-09-02T00:54:00.005+08:00

not entirely uncommon anyway!

i think this two-faced, pretentious, self-serving idiot that i'm currently thinking about totally sucks.

you don't bloody deserve any attention you currently get. the only reason you're getting it is cos' you bloody crave it and suck up to the people whose attention your life depends on.

you use your friends for your interest, acting as if the rest of the world existed just to make your day. stop fanning your ego, it's utterly disgusting.

hell, you're seriously not worth my time and my brain cells,

and the person you look up to can go fly a kite too, for all i care,

heck, i'll provide you both the strings, the paper, the glue and i'd even pack you both off in a cab to west coast park..

seriously though, people are starting to realise what you're doing. one day, even those closest to you will wake up and realise what kind of a lowly, dishonourable person you are.

when that day arrives though, i just fear that you wouldn't be able to take it. instead, you'd probably follow in the paths of those you look up to -

away.

..the truth hurts, some people just can't handle it.

empty weekend..

2008-08-31T23:13:00.002+08:00

yeah, it was a weird weekend, without diana around..

that feeling lessen-ed only by the fact that i had yfm on sat afternoon, readings to clear at night.. and also cos' audrey (thanks) came over to study in the day.. so on a whole it was not too bad..

i hope diana's having fun in kl. thank God for all she has now - work and a work retreat too!

i lost my temper again last night. once again, i told myself not to flare up beforehand.. to rein it in. but i guess i didn't try hard enough.

also, i saw some things i really didn't like yesterday and today. it sucks that i feel this way.. as i let it affect me, my mood, and my loved ones around me. but those things/persons really are a pain in the ass.

i wonder why these idiots act the way they do. we don't need you, we don't need your crap around here. pls, stop polluting the minds of others.. you being blindly influenced by another idiot is bad enough.

this year might be the last after all. sadly, i failed once more.

i guess i haven't truly applied what i shared in ss today - that is, to stop viewing myself as better than others. which is why then, i feel this way.

bleah.

it's been slightly better in school, thanks to God. i look forward to school exams, cos the end of that ushers in..

My plans for this school hols:

Diet & exercise
Bum
Meet this year's resolution of getting my six-pack back.
Bum again
Go away, maybe
Bum more
Consider buying the latest football manager game
Bum even more
Buy & watch a whole series of sitcoms - Friends or maybe 8 simple rules or something else.
Church camp!

That's a pretty long list, for now.

My eyes are shutting..

puff the magic dragon.

2008-08-17T22:33:00.002+08:00

a heading, nonetheless.

it was a fairly uneventful sunday. passed by pretty fast. worship was alright, though sermon was insightful, despite the headache i was suffering from.

after church.. diana's booked for a movie with her mum.. so i've got no one to shop with.. thought i do something i really enjoy to get my mind away from monday blues (which happens to the best of us).. and cos' i really haven't bought anything for myself for a good few months.. thought i asked audrey to accompany me for some window shoppin'.. but she wanted to head home.. it's ok.

had a lousy, expensive dinner of mutton soup at vivo's food republic. i don't know why people still patronise that place. food's decent at best and prices are exorbitant.

had a revelation while i walked around deciding on my choice of dinner. actually, it happened awhile back when eng soon left, then jeff who came back for awhile didn't seem interested in angora, then it culminated when they were asking to fillup church camp rooming forms. I had none to room with. thank God, He provided bx, ivan and terence (another). but that's not the point.

during dinner i decided that i'd probably head home after dinner with diana and her mum.. thought it better for me that way. so we bade farewell, and i went off to the adidas shop to try my school team jersey size first..

so much for heading home immediately.. i got delayed by zara, pull and bear, topman on the way to the adidas shop. 3 purchases for about $51 bucks from pull and bear made me feel a little better. offer lah. adidas shop and then home. saw my poly mate andy soh, star calefare of Money No Enough 2. didn't get to speak to him though, dunno where he went after i came out of changing room.

this whole friend-less thing really came to a head during dinner, and driving home after vivo. add this to the fact that i got damn bloody pissed off with this uber-pretentious person (no, tyt; i ain't referring to you) i heard about, from a trustworthy source, who double-crossed someone dear to me. i mean, everyone chooses their own paths and actions, so live by the consequences of yours.

if you want to be a 'friend' to another, then be a bloody real one for goodness sake. don't wait till you're threatened by someone else before you come into the picture once more.

honestly, much of how i think and react, no one will truly appreciate. it is with genuine good intentions that i carefully select my choice of action or reaction. it is only cos' i care about someone that i bother to be irate, disappointed or angry. granted though, i am not always right in my thinking and behaviour.

but note this, if i don't even regard you,
be assured that i won't even bat an eyelid when i see you.

perhaps only those in similar plight will understand.

what price then, for a friend?
the last i checked my $1738.41 posb savings wasn't enough :P

screw the 'emo' accusations,
for it truly was
a lonely evening.

hips don't lie.

2008-08-17T01:45:00.001+08:00

my fat face doesn't either.

much less, the attitude and allegiance.

yesterday once more..

2008-08-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

well, not exactly yesterday yesterday..

it seems like these days are packed with readings from school. i guess i have to find a way to manage that, and not let school become my life. otherwise, i suffer in the end.

it seems like these days i can't control my rage. i lost it again coming home from diana's. somemore, i told myself beforehand, dun lose your cool, whatever happens, dun lose your cool.

all it took was for one word to come out of my mouth, and the rest soon followed.

this is not good.

perhaps, i should go back to kindergarten and start learning to count from one to ten, slowly.

sigh.

if God gives me a trial,

2008-08-04T20:12:00.002+08:00

He'll see me through it.

aargh!

2008-08-04T01:21:00.000+08:00

again.

seriously though,

2008-08-04T01:19:00.003+08:00

i wonder why the truth and reality of things cannot be anymore obvious to the individuals i'm thinking about.

..or, then again, am i the one oblivious to the truth, instead?

oops,

2008-08-04T01:18:00.001+08:00

i did it again.

the power of the pen..

2008-08-04T01:13:00.004+08:00

..showing forth the futility of our efforts.

que sera sera, whatever will be, will be.

God explains His reason for my trial..

2008-08-03T12:14:00.003+08:00

He didn't need to, but He did.

God spoke to me.

2008-08-03T00:56:00.002+08:00

Relinquish control over your life. all aspects. just trust that He is sovereign.

God, help me.

trials from God..

2008-08-03T00:48:00.003+08:00

punishment or love?

God is indeed speaking to me..

2008-07-30T23:33:00.002+08:00

can i trust that God wants the best for me,

even when humanly, it doesn't seem that way?

often the solutions to our problems..

2008-07-30T00:56:00.001+08:00

..lie within the problems themselves.

sometimes God needs to shout..

2008-07-29T23:47:00.005+08:00

and so you know.. okay.. only those close enough would.. it's been a slightly rougher than usual past week.. with the handling of a school project (something that usually doesn't faze me too much)..

my melancholic state continued late up till last night.. despite the blessing of watching Ronaldinho, Anderson and Diego weave their magic for free.. compounded by some issues with diana.

i slept alright, surprisingly. woke up sian, unsurprisingly, given the prospect of a full day in school.. plus another the day after..

a showered proved to be a bit of a remedy..

as i trudged (-.-) down the hill, i thought to myself, that perhaps i shouldn't be hiding my imperfections (and there are many, i assure you) behind a steely, cool & critical exterior.

i thanked God for not giving up on me (much unlike what someone else said about him/herself.. oops, here i go again), for pulling me up when i fell, for His Word that encouraged me. I also asked as usual that He'll speak to me through QT today..

then i stoned as i usually do on the first bus-ride (10 or 200) towards kent ridge interchange where i hop on the second bus (151) to school..

i think the irritation and the pent up frustration of the past week finally took its toll on me.. i tolerated and tried to control the display of much emotions (tears or anger) till that moment..

here's what happened..

One stops away from the interchange at Miss Chong's home (Neo Pee Teck lane), this idiot (i'm being nice here, i guess) boarded the bus.. Now i know and recognise him because i had a mini-run-in with him before..

This 40+ year old idiot (i shan't name his race here, in case anyone thinks i'm racist) loves to jump in front of bus queues, burp in people's faces just cos' they are next to him when boarding the bus, point the middle finger, blow bubbles with saliva and utter vulgarities at you..

i usually try to avoid him, just making sure he's in my line of sight in case if attempts anything stupid on me..

i did the same today when he boarded the bus carrying his guitar.. i was seated next to the exit of a double-decked bus.. his bumbling self, caused him to lose balance and he subsequently knocked his guitar on that red, old transitlink machine.

with the incident occuring in my face, i couldn't ignore it.. but i told myself .."ok, just look away and ignore".. then the idiot, knowing who i was from past encounters, saw me, walked past and burped in my direction. very audibly, and disgustingly.

i turned and stared him down, before looking away.. my eyes were getting tired from not blinking, lah..

then he muttered (tried to, but failed miserably) an obscenity - shan't say what - that totally pissed me off.

i asked the driver if he heard it.. and he told me to ignore him anyway..

so i thought i could! i guess i didn't start counting to 10 before responding to that idiot as i prepared to get off the bus..

he again, rushed to the exit, pushing his way in front of this other lady, who was obviously shocked and irritated at his behaviour..

that's when i let fly at him. i totally lost it.

I shan't say what i said.. but they were very unkind words. Words that i thought at that moment really were appropriate on an idiot like him. My rage was truly uncontained.. i railed at him even after getting off the bus..

he?

he just retreated into his shell, and kept silent, knowing full well that he has been pissing me off and really, pissed me off even more on a wrong day..

even after i walked away, i couldn't resist one last dig at him.. think it was at this time, he thought that his life was in grave danger (no lah, i wasn't going to kill him, but i think he certainly thought so!) he hurried up the next available bus! which i think wouldn't bring him to his desired stop.

now, that i was alone.. i calmed myself down and thought.. wah! what happened with me? i haven't lost my cool like that in ages (seriously..)

is it something to be proud of? no.

did it occur due to my frustrations of the past week? no, but the past week contributed to my reaction.

is it something God would have been pleased with, given how much i said that i must walk closer to Him before He shouts at me again? no.

i immediately confessed. 1 john 1:9, thankfully.

hopped onto my bus, did QT and this passage below says it all about how God's timing is so real.

i got off the bus at school.. wanting to finish reading the rest of the above passage before class.. unknowingly after that, i broke out in song to God.. "thank you for the cross, the mighty cross"..

at that moment, i missed the company of my loved ones..

yeah, so that was the occurences from 830am to 930am this morning.. sheesh too long.

As i ponder all that happened, sometimes i feel so ashamed to share my struggles at care group.. it happens periodically, and it seems like i haven't make any improvements since the past..

but actually, i thank God that this time round i realise.. that i starting to rely more on Him and His Word - verses like 'his grace is sufficient for me", "i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me", he wouldn't let me go through more than i can bear (paraphrased), the Job passage..

but it's tough, it's been genuinely tough, and will continue to be.. God didn't promise an easy life, anyway :)

the passage says that we shouldn't ask God.. "why did you allow me to go through all these.." not sure that that's easy too..

just realised that i'm rambling on too much, and the post's become fairly incoherent.. shall end here for now.. tired anyway.

it's been a hard day's work..

for

worrisome, insecure, image & reputation conscious me.

Goodnight.

Declaration of God's timing in revealing His Word as an encouragement, support, teaching.

2008-07-28T10:25:00.004+08:00

the last hurrah.

2008-07-28T08:41:00.003+08:00

seems like i am going to the national stadium one last time after all. not sure how many times i said this though. the 'last' supposed last one was the singapore v saudi match with diana, which i wasn't totally interested in, but decided to go as that brought to an end a chapter in the both of our lives at the national stadium together.

then came along the samba boys from brazil.. eager to adapt to the tropical humid region that is asia. (eh, is brazil not like that too? then again, most of these players play in europe, no?)

60bucks for a ticket was a tad too pricey. gave it a miss till the lion's fan club boss Sunny gave me a call for one ticket! so i'm saving 60bucks. diana didn't want to go, despite me wanting her to go. ah well.

so i get to watch ronaldinho, anderson, diego, and gang tonight..

in other news, yu guo tian qing, hai quo tian kong :) faggs, you both. haha

in other other news, God put me through a trial this last weekend. wouldn't say i failed miserably, but didn't pass spectacularly either.. i thank God for ~~giving~~ seeing me through this trial.. for His Word that came to mind everytime i needed it (which was quite often)

not sure why i handle things this way.. grateful that Diana understands and is my (human) support in these times.

Thank you God for clearing my mind to be clear about my assignment.

Thank you God for providing a company with someone inside to offer me the necessary info.

Thank you God for helping me to rely on you.

Thank you God for helping me to realise that You are in control of my life.

Thank you God for being my God.

Thank you God for letting me be your child.

terence, out.

what a difference a few months make..

2008-03-20T19:51:00.002+08:00

in the matter of time stated above,

a brother has left the gathering,
another has fallen away from the faith,
whilst yet another who long fell away just wouldn't come back.

would i ever suffer that same fate? how long can this go on?

yet i know, God is sovereign in all situations.

p.s. blogger welcomes back terence.

death by tray.

2008-02-04T22:27:00.001+08:00

wahahahahaha~

2008-02-04T22:19:00.000+08:00

the beautiful game.

2007-07-30T00:56:00.000+08:00

football is one funny 'ol sport. it has the ability to make grown men (okay.. and some women) laugh, cry, ogle, swear, taunt, gloat, cringe and probably experience many more other emotions.. but i guess Iraq's Asian Cup truimph tonight showed one of the many plusses of the world's most popular sport (ok, debate debate..).

Thousand miles back home in the "home" of war, Iraq.. people must have put away their animosities and strife to unite and get behind the Iraqi team made up of Shi'ite, Sunni and Kurdish players. These players, with only 2 months to gel as one, gave their all amidst reminders of the sectarian violence back home and the grief of losing their loved ones..

they prevailed against the mighty Saudis, three time Asian Cup champions.

what a victory for football,

what a victory for Iraq,

what a victory for unity amongst humankind..

.. even if it's only for awhile.

farewell to the National Stadium, Kallang.

2007-07-01T00:26:00.000+08:00

we were there. I was there. and took the corner flag home as a souvenir!

oh and the picture of the ball? it wasn't the match ball. that's just the ball i won at the acsbarker funfair earlier in the day.

oh and btw, rooney's wearing jersey 10 next season. strange, i seemed to have beat fergie to this one. i just handed wayne the number 10 in my fm game in my new season, few weeks back!

goodbye, kallang. thanks for the memories. :)

the man whose advice has since improved..

2007-03-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

.. the way I play football.

About 13 years ago, my family and my relatives (uncle tong et al.) made one of the few family vacations we've been on, Down Under. We were going to visit my grand-uncle (dai gong gong), grand-aunty (dai po po), and my uncles, victor and peter. They'd migrated to Australia many years back.

The year was 1994.

The US edition of the World Cup was just around the corner.

I was 11 years old.

During one of our afternoon visits to dai gong gong's place, before a mini-kickabout in the backyard where the rest of the temporarily-reunited family were gathered, I sat next to dai gong gong in his living room watching tv.

then i asked the question that would change the way i would play football forever:

dai gong gong, you play football?

of course. i used to play when i was much younger.

ok. so which leg do you use to kick the ball? (excitedly) I use my right leg!

(with disapproving looks & waving his index finger)

no. no. when you play football you must you both your legs.

huh?!

yeah! how can you use one leg only?

(disappointed, i turned back to the tv, mouth wide open, still puzzled by what i just heard.)

to myself: really meh? hmm..

i returned from australia with many memories of the Worlds, a helicopter ride, my batman cup (which i still use, by the way), but still thinking about what dai gong gong said to me. i was determined to learn how to use both my legs when i play football in future.

so in my free time at home (i was only in p5 lah.. all the way till i was sec 1), i would take the ball and kick it against whatever i could with my left leg at home. From simple passes, i progressed to getting a decent shot with the left foot and so on.. today i'm glad to be able to play well with both legs.

of course, it was also down to the many hours under the hot sun, in the basketball court after school, where i honed my touches and my currently non-existent stamina, with my secondary school friends.

honestly, we don't see many two-footed players in singapore. i thank dai gong gong for helping me be one of them.

_____________________

Fast forward to 2007, dai gong gong, dai po po & uncle victor are in town to visit. Having missed many previous opportunities to remind him of our '94 conversation, I made a note not to miss out this time. I also didn't want to miss out on a photo op.

so there i was, earlier today, before the liverpool v manchester united match, reminiscing with him about our '94 conversation (actually i was reminding and refreshing his memory about that) and the time we played soccer on the pitch (of course not together lah..).

he mentioned that he used to play for a first division team in the past. i asked him about injuries suffered and he mentioned a clash that he had with a 6-foot opponent whose elbow caught him just above the left eye, the exact same spot where i got a similar injury from playing with Angora Football Club, with us both requiring stitches for that.

he also mentioned he was captain of a team of europeans whilst working in borneo and that year he lead his side to bring back the trophy for the first time in 5 years! he scored 2 and the winning goal that night and was even given a mention by the radio broadcaster!

".. and Tony Ho scored 2 as he lead his side to victory.."

before i had actually asked him about our '94 conversation though, i asked the same question as i did in australia 13 years back. his reply was no different. With both his index fingers pointing towards his legs, he replied "Both. Gotta play with both legs".

He's still alert, despite his frail appearance. He can still carry a long conversation with you about anything from football to sports to his work. He only needs a hand when putting on his shoes and walking down the stairs.

He's cool, he's dai gong gong for you.

dai gong gong and i.. this time watching tv and holding our conversation on my couch.

Liverpool 0-1 Man Utd: O'Shea stuns Anfield

2007-03-04T00:27:00.000+08:00

smash and grab - to be on the backfoot for 90-minutes, with your opponent having the lion's share of possession and goal opportunities but unable to convert one & then going up the other end and stick one in their net.

Do learn this phrase made popular by Manchester United's recent wins against Lille, Fulham and now Liverpool. Truth be told, United didn't deserve to win. Pool really should have converted any one of their staggering 14 shots on goal. Crouch showed why he is only England squad material cos' of his unusual height; he couldn't score from 4 yards.

Nevertheless, as EPL veterans will tell you, when a team plays badly but still scrapes out a win, you're witnessing championship-winning material.

9 more games..

C'mon, Red Devils!!

didn't make it..

2007-02-28T01:35:00.000+08:00

sad, sian & disappointed to not even get a mention.

poof.

i can only hope..

2007-02-26T23:41:00.000+08:00

.. that the TNP peeps have time to read the latest developments on soccernet.com before tomorrow's issue of TNP goes to print..

the article read and i paraphrase: Benitez has signed Ukranian striker Voronin on a free transfer. He's due to arrive in June. That means that Fowler could be leaving, it was reported. Also, Voronin was also touted as a possible replacement for Bellamy but it's said Benitez may look into buying a 20-goal a season striker too..

i actually wrote all these in reply to the "dear Postman" forum in TNP this week!! results are out tomorrow.. i just hope if they aren't already won over by my entry at first reading, that after reading the soccernet article, they will change their minds..

i wanna win those football prizes.. ooh what should i ask for.. the ball and the 2 tshirts? or the boots? the running shoes?

maybe i shouldn't get ahead of myself..

oh no!! i received a missed call at about 7 plus during dinner.. it was listed (no number). don't tell me TNP tried to call me but i missed the call.. and they decide to give it to someone else.. and i miss the chance to win...

aaahhhhhh!!! noooooooo!!! pls no! pls no!

its been a rough day.

2007-02-25T00:06:00.000+08:00

1. commercial law module in the morning.
2. a short discussion with a schoolmate about our law assignment left me more confused.
3. add that to the fact that i noticed he didn't seem too keen to share his thoughts about his conclusion. (c'mon man.. it ain't gonna be a bell curve at the end.. it's you against yourself.. don't be childish.)
4. packed photocopier room at school. closed photocopier room in NgeeAnn poly.
5. Perenial long line of cars parked on one side of the road opposite my house over the weekends. (it just makes driving difficult and cramped. don't make me call the cops)
6. Near accident while thinking about my "problems".
7. Forgot to take my change of clothes to my aunty's place to shower.. so i had to drive home to get it.
8. And see those idiotic line of cars once more.

add all these to my increasingly tight schedule for the month of March, two upcoming tests and a law assignment to finish by march.. and i'm not even including commitments outside of school and what do we get?

an over-worried and stressed-up me.

still, i thank God for these things:

1. i was able to finish part of my revisions tonight.

2. i'm able to finish the rest during the whole of monday.
[God was amazing here: i was very very tempted to continue studying throughout tonight into Sunday.. which i usually don't as i try to not work on the Sabbath. And so i thought.. it was 1130pm. i won't be able to finish revising today's class in half an hour.. gotta be realistic. then i looked at my timetable for next week.. okay so i don't wanna study sunday.. which means i have to finish econs and comm law revisions on monday. diana usually goes home on monday.. we don't meet. if we do, then knowing procras-me sure won't be able to finish by the time she arrives.. Guess what? She has orientation this monday! so i've got no distractions!! (nothing negative attached to her though) and i've got more time to finish my stuff! thank God for sorting that out for me. think about it.. i would never have got to experience God's planning at work if i chose to study into and on Sunday..]

3. there's football tomorrow. i've been itching to play. and i seriously think i need a good workout to get all the bad stresses out of my system.

4. man u won tonight. thanks to a late ronaldo goal..

5. i get to rest and relax tomorrow.

6. He allowed me to put all my problems into perspective on two seperate occasions today.

First was during YFM.. like how i felt a few days back, i felt genuinely at peace being a part of a gathering with His people that my problems didn't matter at all.

then i thought: how does my problem(s) compare to that which is in the world concerning the destiny of many of mankind? seriously, how does it compare?

it doesn't.

Secondly, while i was at my aunty's place and we were all seated at the dining table, i glanced across and saw my grand-aunty (whom i affectionately call "fat-ah-poh") seated in her wheelchair, staring down at her food through her thick glasses, her right hand grasping her chopsticks as she ate, her hair all straight and combed back (it is usually permed), her sagging face due to drastic weight loss after a nasty fall fractured her hip bone, looking like a scene straight out of an old folk's home..

And then i thought: how does my problem(s) compare to the state she's in?

it can't be compared.

i'm feeling a lot better getting this off my chest, sharing it with two people via email and especially after God worked out my little clutter of work for the next few days.

i don't know how i'd cope without His help.

Glory be to God.

Who compares to You?
Who set the stars in their place?
You who calmed the raging seas
That came crashing over me.

Who compares to You?
You who bring the morning light,
The hope of all the earth
Is rest assured in Your great love.

You are magnificent,
Eternally wonderful, glorious.
Jesus, no one ever will compare
To You, Jesus.

Where the evening fades,
You call forth songs of joy.
As the morning wakes,
We Your children give You praise.

You are magnificent,
Eternally wonderful, glorious.
Jesus, no one ever will compare
To You, Jesus.

a heavy heart & welled-up tears.

sighting in tnp..

2007-02-20T23:00:00.000+08:00

Since ditching a future career with the media and journalism, I have restricted my takes on football in the EPL and the afc cup to my somewhat "unpublicised" blog entries, if you know what i mean.. Actually I have always wanted to write at the sports desk for The New Paper.. but that ambition was later on met with the realisation of the need to provide for my own family in future and thus did not materialise.

I chanced upon an opportunity for my OWN piece to finally appear in The New Paper last week in the "Dear Postman" column. Well, they were asking for the fans' take on what we thought was a fitting footballing finale to the National Stadium in Kallang.

So spurred on my nationalistic pride (only during Singapore football matches and esp. so after the recent AFC triumph) and the prizes on offer for the wining entry, I decided to send in my own ideas. I was waiting eagerly over the CNY weekend for this tuesday's TNP and the results.

Flip flip flip.. "eh.. this winning entry looks like mine leh.. is it? is it?"

(looks at winner's name)

"haiyah.. never win. (accusingly) eh but this guy wrote about the same as me what!"

(glances over to the facing page: "Other Letter Highlights")

"EHH! got mine!!"

(mother looks at me with disbelief.. we were on our way out to aunty betty's house..)

"really lah!!"

okok. I was disappointed to have not won the prize with my debut entry to "Dear Postman". I suppose one can't always win. I'm glad to have still got a nice little spot on "Other Letter Highlights".. Aah well.. try harder next time. here are the pictures in case you missed it.

p.s. the winner truly deserved his prize. he had 2 other winning suggestions.. no complains.

past & present of the Singapore Lions.

that moment in the spotlight. heh.

the carrot that i missed out on. i later realised that the winner doesn't get all of the above items if i'm not wrong..

Matthew 19:24-26

2007-02-20T22:51:00.000+08:00

".. Again I say to you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."

When the disciples heard this, they were very astonished and said, "Then who can be saved?"

And looking at them Jesus said to them, "With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

how true. was thinking about my future earlier and my reluctance to put attaining and storing monetary wealth below God.. and this verse came to mind.

well there's more meaning to this verse than the way it struck me.. what does it mean to you?

Psalm 51:1-4

2007-02-20T22:39:00.000+08:00

Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your lovingkindness;

According to the greatness of Your compassion blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity

And cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

And my sin is ever before me.

Against You, You only, I have sinned

And done what is evil in Your sight,

So that You are justified when You speak

And blameless when You judge.

sorry, God.

what a time to pile on the fats..

2007-02-15T10:28:00.000+08:00

.. reason being having not exercised for more than a year!!

well i don't consider the weekly soccer kickabout exercise anyway..

to worsen this mini-crisis, cny is just round the corner.. meeting relatives that'll go..

"Wah.. you look bigger ah" (read: wah!! you've put on quite a bit of weight ah?)

i think the only reason i'm keeping the fat-additions to a slow is down to my reduced take-in during meals.. it ain't easy.. perhaps i should just go exercise.. then i can eat a little more freely.

for now.. i'm off to breakfast.. my grandmother bought roti prata.

i think i'd rather get by on people commenting about my un-chiselled jawline than miss out on my favourite roti prata.

heh.

a day in the shoes of a broke man..

2007-02-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

well not the entire day that i was broke.. only the last part.. that was bad enough.

it started out with me withdrawing money from mobil to go to 7-eleven to top up my ezlink card (they don't accept nets for this transaction AND they charge a nominal $0.30 for the service. lame.) and being told that there was a "card validation" error. okay.

so i've got $20 bucks in notes but no coins. They wouldn't break my note unless i purchased something. poof. so i bought a mentos.

got on the 51 to Queensway to alter my jeans (yes i bought another pair cos the previous Levi's one the tailors lost it.. they reimbursed my lah of course..) ezlink card had enough balance to afford me another trip before my balance went negative..

gave the tailors my alterations and went walking around window shoppin' and also scouting for the 050307 gift. had a better idea after walking through certain shops. then i collected my jeans.. paid the fella $8 but not before i tried it and inspected their work.. such shops.. you just have to lah.. they expedited my alterations.. the aunty was still feeling bad for losing my jeans.. i actually thought of going to another tailor.. but they were just plain rude (although they charge $7) and simply would take too long..

the dumb atm at queensway wouldn't dispense any cash (which would contribute to a mini crisis later on..) so i had to settle with the remaining $10.75 to get me to my old house hawker centre.. buy food for me and diana.. and then home. well i only realised i had $9.85 (after the basic $0.90 bus ride from queesway to pasir panjang food centre) when i was at the food centre ready to order a feast to da pao home.. with NO atm nearby.. just had to call diana and tell her that we had to settle for the famous rojak ($6) and some chicken wings ($3) (which she didn't mind.. i'm thankful for her being so adaptable..)..

walked back to the bus stop.. the bus took ages to come.. then i just happen to glance at one of those wooden info board from SBS that we so often ignore.. and i was just looking and thinking about how much i would usually spend if i take bus (using ezlink card.. it's cheaper by the way..) from home to school and back.

THEN my eyes ran over this fairly important detail which on other days i would have readily ignored: Air-Con, Cash, Adult, Below 4 fare stages, $0.90

?!!?!?!! (and guess what? after waiting for so long, the bus finally came.. when i was about to check whether i had enough $$.. so i missed that bus..)

HUH?!

Wah! $0.85 only!! only then did i realise and regret not keeping and valuing those 5 cent 10 cent coins.. Having that extra 5 cent (or not having it in this case) meant I was staring at the possibility of walking all the way home.. not ideal.

so i looked around on the floor hoping to find that elusive 5 cents or maybe even a stray 10 cent coin.. no chance.. last resort.. had to explain to this lady and beg her to spare me 10 cents.. she did. And i got my BUS ride home for dinner with Diana..

best part is.. when i got off and crossed the road to where she was waiting.. there she was.. laughing at me..

God proved Himself faithful once more..

2007-02-14T10:49:00.000+08:00

.. in the management accounting test i took yesterday.. as usual i would be looking at my notes, revising and reminding myself of all i studied.. and once more yesterday, just like in the past during my polytechnic tests/exams.. God led me to key points in my notes that I later would find out were crucial to me doing well for that particular assessment.. this time round.. it was on Product Costs..

Thank you, God.

i still remember those dark days..

2007-02-06T23:59:00.000+08:00

..especially the night before i enlisted and the trip down to pasir ris and on the ferry terminal towards tekong..

they weren't easy..

thanks once again to all who were there for me..

Funny how..

2007-02-05T15:43:00.000+08:00

.. and i've been observing for quite some time now.. some people think their lives have been changed, enhanced or superior-ied just because they have been inducted/initiated into or hanging around some group new..

Funnily but not unsurprisingly enough, some lurve the attention, while others crave it and desire more. To get there, some ditch their old friends, some get hitched, some snitch on others, while some (excuse the words with the same terminal sound..) literally dress like a witch (or dare i say.. b****).

(no i wasn't using the b word in its vulgar sense.)

well to each his or her own i guess..

certain comments and statements made here may seem pointed, apparent, vindictive and reeking of sour grapes to some.. I'm not so sure that that's what it's supposed to be.. at least from my perspective.

i can already see certain people up-in-arms over what they've just read.. heheh.

Funny how.. isn't it?

Singapore - Champions 1998, 2004, 2007..

2007-02-04T23:44:00.000+08:00

yes, you might already have heard or watched.. Singapore have been crowned AFC champions for the third time after a 1-1 draw in Bangkok and a 3-2 aggregate win over Thailand.

Funnily enough, over this weekend, a number of people have come up to me and asked why am I not in Bangkok for the second leg.. i got so siao meh? actually, if i could, i would have wanted to be there..

Singapore played badly. Didn't deserve to win. There were moments where the Lions threatened and bossed the game.. but those were very much the minority. The Thais were given time and space to pass the ball just outside of the Singapore penalty box.. And for that.. the Lions got punished. Aide was caught out.. not the first time in this whole tournament.. Thonkaya got behind the defence and muay-thai kicked the ball in for the lead.. as much as this tournament is Subramani's last, i think it's time Aide step down and let Baihakki take over and build an understanding with Precious..

The Thais apart from threatening the goal with mazy runs down the flanks, were reduced to long shots which rarely troubled Lionel Lewis.. Lionel did well on a number of occasions to save the Lions.. and when he wasn't there.. Noh Rahman cleared off the line.. if Thailand had scored and gone 2 nil up then they'd probably have won it.

Other than that.. the Thais continued their Hollywood auditions, going down at the slightest touch from a Lion. They, especially the no.19 and Datsakorn, were just further dragging the Thai brand down the drain, especially after the furore of the past week. Datsakorn, hailed as the playmaker, was disappointing. When decisions didn't go his or his team's way, he started acting stupid again. Just like in midweek. He rightly earned a yellow card by kicking the ball at Noh Rahman.. and should have earned a straight red when he attempted to headbutt Khairul Amri.

I think the only Thai who made sense was team manager Thavatchai. His sensible comments "i think Singapore deserved to win. Football is like this. You win them all" certainly helped to redeem the nosediving Thai reputation and sought to reassure the world that the people from the Land of Smiles are not all childish, irreverant of officialdom, petty kids.

This brings me to my next grouse - another weak referee.. he didn't stamp his authority in the game on many occasions. And i'm not even mentioning the goal he disallowed earlier which should have stood! that would have made watching the game easier.. When are we going to see a good strong one from this region.. I'm sure Shamsul Maideen would have been selected had Singapore not made the final.. what to do.. best ref.. best team.

Second half and Thailand were still 1 nil up. Not that their fans were enthused by it.. Their Mexican wave was nothing compared to the superior Kallang Wave. I was predicting a late goal by Singapore.. and right on cue in the 81st minute.. the ball broke to Khairul Amri who carried the ball forward.. the Thais backed off and backed off.. inviting Khairul towards their goal. Sorry man..

Khairul decided to go for it.. and boy did he GO for it.. arching his body forward to keep the ball low, Khairul stretched every sinew in his right leg back and with one swing of the boot.. slammed the ball past a rooted Kittisak and into goal. I went crazy again.. I initially thought it went out.. but then saw the net bulged and the ref signalling a goal.. i felt Khairul justified his donning of a pair of YELLOW boots with that shot. One all.. singapore wound time down and then the ref blew for full time and with that, crowned Singapore champions once more.

I think overall, the Lions' play has improved though they are guilty of going to sleep and at times self-destructing. Apart from that, we have shown that we can handle big and rowdy crowds, big match tensions and also the ability to come back from one goal down to equalise on many occasions. well building a football team takes time and playing experience, so i applaud the FAS for sending the team to tournaments.. and Raddy for drilling into them belief in themselves. Playing China, Iraq and Japan over the years has proved vital to the progress of the Singapore national team.

So the Lions then went on to lift the trophy in front of a near empty Suphachalasai stadium, with Noh Alam Shah bagging 2 individual awards. One i'm sure was for Top Scorer.. maybe the other was for MVP.. Singapore poster boy Indra received a yellow for his protesting efforts on the bench when Datsakorn headbutted Khairul.. :P whatever lah..

ASEAN FOOTBALL CHAMPIONSHIP CUP
CHAMPIONS 2007: SINGAPORE

C'MON LIONS!!

the decision didn't go their way..

2007-02-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

.. so the Thai team decided to behave like kids in a playground..

what's more, the Thai media is glorifying their coach for hauling his players off. ?!!?!

this tops the lot.. the Thai coach is ACTUALLY claming that he hauled the players off the pitch cos' they were all heated up and he wanted to cool them down. You think what? basketball or volleyball ah? got timeout.

heads should roll for this. the m'sian ref was weak enough to not enforce the law of the game. the coach and i believe the thai no. 21 should be sent off for instigating the walkout.

what a farce it would be if they go on to win the tournament this sunday.

Kallang: The last hurrah..

2007-02-01T01:44:00.000+08:00

The day has finally arrived. The 1st leg of the Asean Championships Final between Singapore and Thailand. But before that, it was a small, well not exactly small, matter of finishing up my revisions for management accounting first. That done with about half an hour before eng soon would arrive.. i logged on to yahoo pool for a few games to unwind. it was much needed.

Eng soon popped by about 3-ish and we just chilled till what about.. 345pm before we set off for Seah Im Hawker Centre opposite harbourfront to meet tim.. and for some sumptuous chicken rice..but i was careful not to eat too much.. less that problem came back. On hindsight, thank God the Lychee drink didn't do any damage..

I only realised how big tonight's game was when we were on the ECP before Fort Rd and saw the electronic notice board which read, "Asean Cup, 5pm - 11pm. Expect jam near stadium". Well, big enough for the authorities to attempt to steer traffic clear of the home of singapore football, the National Stadium.

Dropped by the Esso to get some sweets to soothe the throats during the game and fooled the counter lady into thinking we were playing later on. pfft. arrived at about 450pm.. fans were already outside the stadium.. with painted faces and flags draped over their shoulders. The gates open at 5.. headed in and took some shots of the empty stadium for one last time.. the stadium's gonna be knocked down later this year.

was supposed to do some work.. but ended up not feeling nor wanting to do it.. instead we just hung around the Lions Fanclub section, where we sit every match, and was soon roped in to help with carrying the drinks and the boxes of clappers. The highlight certainly was distributing the clappers.. i'd never seen so many people rush to you, asking, cajoling, begging you to give them a clapper. Most were polite albeit insistent on getting what they want.. which is understandable and acceptable.. others were downright pushy and lacked respect and courtesy. Didn't bother with them.. some tried to snatch the thick stack from under my arms.. i just held firm and told them to back off. i mean people were waiting and here they were.. doing something sneaky. that was poor.

Went out to pick Koh & Jeff.. not an easy feat.. locating both of them.. finding Koh was tougher.. he was in the big crowd.. all inching their way towards the bottleneck entrance.. Looking for him was like the game book, "Where's Wally?".

by the time i got settled down at my seat, it was about 740pm.. and kick-off beckoned. The first half was alright.. singapore playing well enough.. and even took the lead through, who else? Noh Alam Shah. After a human pinball game took place in the box with 2 other Lions firing long-ranged shots towards the Thai goal, the ball broke free to Alam Shah who swivelled on the spot and sidefooted the ball past the Thai keeper.

half time came and went. without me getting my nasi lemak nor amy currypuff. ggrrr. but the Lions fanclub peeps, Sunny and his wife, were kind enough to give me a packet of nasi briyani.. definitely good. They didn't have to.. i wasn't registered with the fanclub.. i guess sitting there with them the whole tournament got us familiar with each other. Oh, we helped ourselves to the mineral water too..

second half. i remember this half for 2 incidents - the Thai equaliser and the Thai walkout. Of course interspersed were some other highlights like the penalty that never was for a foul on Khairul Amri and umm.. that's it i think. hah. Oh! The thais really can act by the way.. dropping down at the slightest touch.. disgusting. don't think they were interested in winning the game.

I thought aide was at fault for the thai goal. committed himself.. then the entire Lions defence were static.. as though rooted to the ground. then Lionel, oh Lionel.. he just dropped to the ground when one on one.. think he was trying to psyche the Thai player.. but the thai simply went past him and slotted home.

Fast forward to the 83 min i think.. A cross in, Alam Shah went down.. ref blew for a penalty! Thais decided that wasn't fair and decided to take matters into their own hands.. they walked off the pitch!! How unsportsmanlike! for 17 whole minutes, the fans entertained themselves with songs like "Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye", "Why are we waiting?", "Ole, ole", and many others.. and of course some good old Kallang jeering and the classic 11 airhorns followed by a malay vulagrity. i thought they were trying to stall time.. the longer the penalty taker waits.. more pressure builds up.. but i guess mustafic fahrudin showed nerves of steel when he stepped up and planted the ball in the top right corner of the goal. Well struck, nothing to say.

the ref added some more time on and at the end as the whistle blew and the fans went "ole, ole" again, i just held up my Singapore flag, looked around the stadium one last time, and just soaked in the moment. The first ever match singapore played at this stadium, we beat the thais 1 nil.. at the last international match to be played here.. we beat the Thais 2-1. Could there have been a better script? i know the critics would say we should have scored more.. but let's give credit where it's due.. we haven't beaten the tom yam brigade in regulation time for decades.

Today was the day to do it.

Tonight was the night we did it.

Thanks Lions.

P.S. My cousin Lynette smsed and Linda called to say they saw me on TV!! i hope i wasn't doing anything embarrassing then man..

P.P.S. Tim, Eng Soon, Jeffrey and I are now officially Lions Fanclub members. We put our names down. They promise to call us the next time.. maybe when the new stadium's up. Meanwhile enjoy the pics.

Come on Lions!!

the massive gallery stand..

think it was behind this entrance where i sat during the malaysia cup days with uncle tong and aunty betty.

right there.

alam shah's autographed ball after the Laos win.

at 5pm, pretty empty..

at 8pm, packed once more.

the north stand.

from the top of the east stand.

what a shot. what a backdrop. what an apt setting for the last match at the National Stadium.

Kui Jien, Me, Jamie Yeo.

Missed Sheihk Haikkel, Andy Penders, PJ Roberts & Sharkee Tan. Think they were getting a bite.

i know he's an actor. prolly a singer too. but i don't his name. i only know the face. :P

Koh, Me, the Lion Mascot during half time.

we drove to amara hotel. yes we did. groupies. Raddy and I.

Was Baihakki's birthday. Soon, Me, Baihakki, Tim. Eh tim and i played against him before leh. dun play play. (No, we didn't make that signboard)

Tim, Khairul Amri, Me. He played okay only lah. I missed Alam Shah and Indra! All we got was a handshake..

Us with Shi Jiayi & Lionel Lewis. On the right is Sunny, Lions Fanclub member.

thai winger, sutee suksomkit. he's cool. that's why we allowed him to take a pic with us.

daniel bennett and us.. i actually asked him for his boots. he just gave me a stare.

is there a better way to bid farewell to the National Stadium, Kallang?

thanks for the memories.

yep, the roof (if there was any) came down at Kallang last night..

2007-01-28T23:48:00.000+08:00

you'd probably read it all in the papers by now. 53000 (minus the 2000 msians) fans urging the Lions on; 53000 fans screaming as if with each decibel raised, the probability of a goal for the home team would increase; 53000 Lions' fans baying for the blood of the malaysian tigers.

the tigers drew first blood though, if only through a hopeful swing of the right boot and a shot which was parried, yet spun cruelly over the flailing Lion Lionel. The Kallang Roar seem deflated for those few minutes after that goal. I certainly was. But as we read in the publications today, the 11 Lions on the field weren't about to lose heart, shut up shop and go out of the Asean Championships with a whimper. The team credited their oft-AWOL, oft-skeptic, oft-critical "12th Lion" for giving them the extra ommph in their every stride towards the malaysian goal and ultimately the extra something to finish off the tigers in the penalty shootout..

I rushed to the stadium from Angora's inaugural Youth Fellowship Meeting and the bbq dinner. Avoiding the traffic congestion on the ECP and the indoor stadium area (Taiwanese group S.H.E. was on), i took the nicoll highway and soon found myself stuck in a mini-jam near the mouth of the National Stadium. it was only then that i realised how daunting Kallang can be, if we Singaporeans want it to be. The ol' dame of Singapore football and its four towering stadium lights shone through the misty night as car after car after car lined up to head into the stadium.

there was to be no proper parking lot, arriving at 745pm, so i had to make do with an unofficial one across a sideroad directly under the stadium, its access already being blocked by other cars facing the same dilemma as I. Nevertheless, the parking coupons that I tore earlier in the day for that time were displayed. Not sure if the attendants would acknowledge that or not. Made a quarter-of-a-stadium run to the east entrance and snaked our way onto the terraces and into the heart of the Lions' Die-hard Supporters Fanclub section where Jeremy, Timothy and the rest were.

the first half was a bit of a bore. but i felt singapore played better then. malaysia just couldn't get started, maybe Kallang when packed to the rafters was just to much for them to take. they looked unsettled.

half time came and went without me getting my hands on the lovely curry puff. they were sold out. And so as i recorded earlier, the malaysians put themselves ahead early in the second half. It seems to me that Singapore only starts playing the game seriously when they are behind. Only then did we see Hafiz Osman rampaging down the right flank and whipping in cross after cross, to take advantage of the vertically-challenged Malaysian defence which was also not adept at dealing with highballs in the box. Many times a peach of a cross swung in from the right boot of Hafiz, many times the Lions in the box, all queuing up to head the ball in, either missed it or put the ball high and over the crossbar.

75 minutes and finally the relentless attacks on the malaysian goal yielded a return for the Lions. Again, it was a crossball in and Noh Alam Shah, scourge of the malaysians in the first leg in Shah Alam stadium, who got his head to the ball, directing it across goal. Malaysian custodian, syamsul could only parry it and the ball fell into a dangerous area just within the six-yard box. I couldn't see (some enthu fan stood up then) who toe-poked or slammed the ball in. All I saw was the net bulging and I screamed in delight.. but not before glancing over at the linesman and the referee who awarded the goal.

i honestly thought we were never going to recover from Lionel's clanger. but then, after ridhuan pulled us level, only then could one feel the full force of the Kallang Roar once again, reminiscent of the Malaysia Cup days.

The Kallang Wave went full circle time after time after time. The strains of the fans singing "Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole!" rang throughout the stands. But what really reached deep into the bottom of my heart and the recesses of my memory was when the stadium rocked and i really mean ROCKED from under the feet of the "12th Man", all stomping on the ground urging the Lions for JUST one more. I have never experienced that Kallang Stomp since the Malaysia Cup days.

To all those who were there with me, and to all those who wanted to be there.. thank you and let's bring the house down once more on wednesday against the tomyam brigade that is Thailand.

but first onto extra time.. i must admit there was a little nail-biting involved as i feared the Lions conceding a goal on the backfoot against the fleet-footed counter attacking Malaysians, who were also intent on winding the clock down. The highlight of extra time (and that of Precious' entire tournament) was his 30-yard screamer which was headed for the top left corner before being narrowly tipped over by Syamsul. And so the ref blew, but definitely not before more time-wasting tactics and Hollywood-esque theatrics by the Malaysian 'keeper. I'm sure he deserved a nice yellow card for his efforts.

It was time for the mandatory penalty shootout.

Nerve wrecking? Most definitely.

More nail-biting? Certainly.

Indra stepped up and put the ball down the centre of the goal. One nil Lions.

Hardi Jaffar clinically sidefooted to draw the malaysians level.

Alam Shah.. (i thought he would miss. I could already see the headlines "Alamak! Alam Shah..") but NO. His spotkick went down the way of Indra's.

By then, the fans were cheering each goal, egging on each Lion making the brave walk from the centre circle to the penalty box, and also roundly jeering and pressuring each malaysian player. Bearing in mind that it could all turn sour, I couldn't bear to show anymore emotion than a simple pump of the fist with each singapore spotkick converted. but i found myself on rollercoaster of emotion after the malaysians equalled that of their Singaporean counterparts.

Mustafic Fahruddin stepped up next. He trudged up the half. Put the ball in place and duly answered the call to put us 3-2 up.

i don't remember who equalised for the malaysians after that and also after Fazrul Nawaz put the Lions 4-3 up. I must say Fazrul displayed tons of nerve to step up and plant the ball in the back of the net beyond the reach of the malaysian 'keeper. I also thought, that Fazrul too would be overwhelmed by the atmosphere and miss the penalty.

last taker for the lions was shi jiayi, who undoubtedly played his best game of the tournament, converting his penalty off the body of syamsul. close, but a goal nonetheless. Lions 5-4 up.

then came the moment. it seemed an eternity as the khyrill walked towards the penalty spot. his body language if i don't remember wrongly, didn't look too good. Perhaps the pressure of NEEDING to score (as the Lions have already scored the mandatory 5) and the presence of the "12th Man" screaming, jeering, slamming broke him. His feeble attempt to the right was CAUGHT, not palmed away by the reigning MVP of the tournament, Lionel Lewis. He redeemed himself.

As for me, i went delirious. i screamed with ecstacy in the face of total strangers who screamed back. i high-fived another stranger and amongst all that, started flinging crushed posters and water cups in the air. then something that i never experienced before happened. i started feeling faint, lost my bearings and started to feeling around, looking to engsoon and timothy for support to ensure i don't fall. Perhaps the flu bug that i've been fighting the past few days and the lack of sufficient food caused that. Or maybe cos' i was just seated down too long during the penalties and a sudden change of emotins proved too much for the weakened body then. But that feeling went away seconds later (thank God nothing happened!) and i was back on my seat jumping up and down waving my Singapore flag.

we made our way out of the stands.. tim and i tried to get the "ole, ole" chants going without success. And so we trooped out of the National Stadium victorious against the old-enemy Malaysia. Then, right on cue, the rain which had been threatening since the start of the evening came pouring down. Mind you, we still needed to run back to the car. after that it was supper at lau pa sat and then i dropped tim, jack and engsoon home.. reached home at 135am.. postioned myself nicely on my bed and rested for soccer at safra mount faber this morning. crazy, but definitely worth it.

And so the fairytale ending that is the National Stadium in Kallang, home to the Singapore Lions all the way back from the Malaysia Cup days, continues..

I'll be back for the final Lions game this Wednesday in the 1st leg, final of the tournament against Thailand.. I certainly hope it will be a good result for us to bring to Thailand for the second leg and to close a chapter of Singapore football at this soon-to-be former Kallang Stadium. I hope also to sink my teeth into the delicious currypuffs with chilli and nasi lemak once last time.

come on Lions.

P.S. Shebby Singh, former malaysian defender & espn starsports' lousiest pundit/biased-commentator, eat-your-own-foot as SINGAPORE WON! Please know that the role of a commentator is to be objective and unbiased in his/her assessment of the game, totally unlike the virtues you were displaying and comments you were making in the first leg in Shah Alam. Totally unprofessional you were.

drinks, nasi lemak, curry puff.. drinks, nasi lemak, curry puff..

2007-01-17T23:53:00.000+08:00

Singapore 2-2 Indonesia: Champions advance
SINGAPORE, January 17 (Asean Football Championship) - Defending champions Singapore advanced to the semi-finals of the Asean Football Championship after holding Indonesia to a tense 2-2 draw at the National Stadium on Wednesday. (source: ESPNsoccernet)

more on that later..

school ended at 1230pm today. headed home for lunch and revisions on management accounting module.. and then packed my stuff and set off for the national stadium.

stopped by 7-eleven for some sweets, half-willing the lady across the counter to hurry my transaction, half-fearing that i would miss the number 10 bus..

boarded after like a ten minute wait.. turn off. only to be further irked when met by the driver's reply when i asked.. national stadium duo jio (how long to reach there)? "hard to say lah! got jam long lah.. no jam..". i couldn't be bothered with the rest of his statement.. i was asking how long it would roughly take to get to the stadium and he tells me about jams (cos' i wanted to confirm streetdirectory.com's estimate of 35 minutes).

went up, took a seat and took out by leadership training work to complete and then moved up front to be nearer the tv mobile screens. the arena was on. nothing really exciting they were debating about.. read a little of the bible and soon found the bus stuck in the jam that the bus driver was talking about along tanjong pagar railway station.. soon cleared it, got off and found myself with a spring in my step as i made my way towards the National Stadium.

timothy, whom i was meeting, was also stuck in a jam somewhere along the ecp.. hah. and i thought i was late.. bought some gallery tickets but was disappointed to find out that the Lions die-hard supporter fan club, who i usually seat with, were in the grandstand section. think they feared the lion mascot might get wet.. not me. nor timothy. we were there to brave the rain and cheer on the Lions. so it was raining.. drizzling actually, but this dude who was sitting in front of me, had his umbrella open.. no one watched singapore football with their umbrellas open. even with the rain pouring down. during the malaysia cup days, people would curse at you AND your open umbrella.

so we took the lead through a well-struck Alam Shah penalty and then Precious, oh Precious!! No i'm not rueing the fact we soon conceded a goal.. i'm irate at the fact that the authorities gave Nigerian-born Precious Emuejeraye fast-tracked citizenship and stumped by Raddy's preference of not-so-Precious over Baihakki Khaizan. Precious made many many many many mistakes during the match. i really think malaysia's got a good chance against us next week in the semis if precious plays. this slow, clumsy, bumbling 1.8+m giant of a man really cannot play football.

add to that, the thai referee's seeming preference and siding of the indonesian side added to my woes as halftime approached. every slight contact, the ref blew for indonesia. flicked a few yellows in singapore's faces but let off the indonesians. sick, that tom yam man.

anyway, i was looking forward to dinner at half time. dinner was a 3 buck nasi lemak, which i absolutely love.. and a 2 buck cuppa coke which was a rip off.. the fragant and "loose" nasi lemak i wolfed down as the Lions took their break.. shouts of Singapore, Singapore rang out from the stalls outside the stands of the stadium.. i suspect some minor scuffles between singaporeans and indonesians..

second half and indra put us ahead, again! don't know how it went in.. but it did.. then singapore nearly self-destructed when they allowed a soft equaliser 4 minutes later.. overall, singapore allowed indonesia the freedom and space to play their passing game.. and many times during the match, we could have conceded a third.. mind you, with Precious in there as well.. my heart was certainly in my mouth each time the ball got near him..

clock ticked away and i remember Timothy and I counting down with TWENTY minutes still to go.. that was how bad singapore was playing.. i told him, "this could be the last time we're watching a match here if singapore continues to play badly.."

anyway, fast forward and the ref finally blew for the final whistle after what seemed like 4-5 minutes of injury time. strains of "Ole, ole" rang throughout the stands.. what capped it for me was our seeing off of our opponents and their fans with "Na na na na, Na na na na, Hey hey hey, Goodbye! Na na na na, Na na na na, Hey hey hey, Goodbye!"

met zayed, daniel and mark at the match. they claimed farand was there as well..

contemplated dapao-ing a nasi lemak for breakfast tomorrow but decided against it.. bought a curry puff outside the stadium for a mere buck. that was worth it. loved the pastry and the chilli sauce.. it was certainly good.

as Tim and I made our way towards the busstop for number 10, I quipped, "Hey! We'll be back at the stadium for one more match. And one more nasi lemak. And one more curry puff." maybe 2 nasi lemaks & 3 curry puffs. :P but no coke. if i can help it.

next saturday, singapore vs malaysia 2nd leg 8pm.

now, where's my singapore flag?

Singapore 11 - 0 Laos-sy

2007-01-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

i just love and laugh at the title of this entry. i don't mean to be rude towards the country of Laos and the Laotian people. but the journalistic and albeit cheeky and okay, yes, offensive side of me came out in the title. that's totally me lah. pun it if you can. But hey, if i was a journalist for The New Paper, i'd use the same title as my headline. I might get the boot eleven times from my bosses after that though. :P

who knows, maybe the reporter covering the match might use the same one.. but then i scooped him on that headline. that's just assuming he decides to use it.

i've just witnessed one of the highs of Singapore football. we just whooped a minnow of south-east asian football for ELEVEN. okay, so they are pushovers.. but the goal-fest would go some way towards injecting confidence in the players for indonesia on wednesday and in the local fans in the support of their national players.

my vote for the best goal, and i'm sure that of many others, would go to Noh Alam Shah, who scored 7, yes, SEVEN, and closed the match with an audacious scissors kick, which i'm sure even Fandi would have been proud of.

think the last time Singapore recorded a big win was in the Malaysia Cup when we whooped brunei 8-nil and razzler dazzler Sundramoorthy capped the win then with a spectacular bicycle kick.

I think debutants Hafiz Osman (right-back) & substitute Isa Halim (defensive midfield) played really well despite the "laos-sy" (sorry, can't resist it..) opposition. Their good performance tonight does not necessarily guarantee a distinguished national career, but it certainly augurs well for the future of Singapore football, given that first-choice right back Subramani is 35 years young and is retiring after this tournament.

For the record, here are the goalscorers for today's match:

Singapore - 11
- Ridhuan Muhd 10,
- Noh Alam Shah 11, 24, 61, 72, 76, 88, 92
- Shahril Ishak 47
- Khairul Amri 71
- Itimi Dickson 79

Laos - 0

the commentator, dez corkhill summed it up best when he said that "..there might not be enough time for highlights after the match..".

anyone up for the game on wednesday against indonesia?

(picture taken from http://www.sleague.com)

becks off to the stars..

2007-01-12T10:20:00.000+08:00

ESPNsoccernet - Jan. 11, 2007

David Beckham will leave Real Madrid at the end of the season and join side Los Angeles Galaxy on a £128million ($250 million) five-year deal - which works out at a mere half-a-million pounds a week.

The former England captain will leave Real in June and begin his new career in Major League Soccer in August.

crap. now i won't be able to meet him face to face even if i get to go to england end of this year.. although there's always cristiano ronaldo, wayne rooney, rio ferdinand, paul scholes, steven gerrard, john terry and many others.. hopefully ronaldinho and messi too!! still, meeting becks has always been something i've wanted to do.. well, maybe, just maybe he'll be back on holiday in the UK when i'm there.

then again, if there's anyone after Pele, who would be able to raise the profile of soccer in the States, then Beckham would be the one with his marketability, superstar good looks & he ain't that bad a player afterall.. besides you've gotta admit that his wife looks good.. that'll help, along with her friendship with Mrs Cruise, Katie Holmes.. it's a long shot (not impossible for Becks, ya' know..) but they might be the next IT couple of Hollywood..

Wait. Am i'm supposed to be talking about Becks' new club and how he truly desires to raise the profile of soccer amongst the basketballing, baseballing Americans? Or the fact that he's probably moving there to boost his own profile and ensure Brand Beckham conquers the Americas.

Only then, can he unveil his plans for world domination..

okay. think i'm going crazy from not being able to meet him if i head to europe this year.

(picture taken from http://soccernet.espn.go.com)

we perceive our absence from service to be a time problem..

2007-01-08T00:31:00.000+08:00

God sees it as a priority problem. I do, too.

disclaimer: i've only realised it in recent times. i hope you do, too. soon enough.

say what you mean;

2007-01-04T22:26:00.000+08:00

mean what you say.

cordon bleu: moderate success.

2007-01-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

tried to replicate the same dish from Secret Recipe. Verdict: A tad too cheesy, slightly overcooked and wrong type of bread crumbs used. Overall, not too bad for first try.

tsk. it wasn't me though who made it though. was my mum. but it was me who pushed for extra cheese. :P

2007: Ushered & Uncertain.

2007-01-01T23:54:00.000+08:00

it was a fairly disappointing way to end the year, 2006, in more ways than one. self-serving & self-centred individuals not entirely helping the situations they're stuck/involved in. well, things can remain like that and 2007 will be like the year just past us. come '08, we'll still be addressing such issues. mark my words.

on a happier note, there are many things to thank the Lord for in '06. hopefully in '07, God will help me take my faith to a higher level in the understanding of His Word and in His ministries. And possibly in reaching out to the lost. that might be tough though.

we'll see.

old man me.

2006-12-27T01:55:00.000+08:00

aah. so christmas has now come and gone. aah. school starts soon. aah.

i still remember in early november.. after my exams.. saying that i will be enjoying a loooong holiday.. with me having to go through my birthday.. church camp.. christmas and many days of waking up at 11am before i have to go to school again. bleah. it's all over, well almost.

still, i guess i can't ask for too much.. i DID enjoy this 2-month break and i start school only on the 10th!

Christmas service was okaaay. didn't even bother thinking about what to wear. i think i'm past the age of dressing up extra nice for christmas. maybe it's cos' i just didn't feel like it. maybe it's the poor hair length i have now. maybe i'm just old lah. seperately, what can i say.. i was wrong. those i thought wouldn't dress up.. did. and those i thought would.. didn't! sheesh.

caroling afterwards, at my place and then at uncle alfred's. when we left for uncle alfred's, my room resembled a scene somewhat out of a war-torn country. thanks to kids jumping on my bed, throwing my stuff toys all over the place and even threatening to wreck my 3d old trafford puzzle with my football!

so caroling was over in a jiffy. then we practically played bridge the whole night, along with a supper trip to cheese prata shop and being greeted by the traffic police (nope, no summons), more bridge and a swim in the pool at about 4.45am. it was cold in there. the pool. then clean up. then mcdonald's for breakfast.. then send audrey home.. then send diana and my sis back to my place.. rest for 10 minutes.. then finally off to Ikea to meet Uncle Chee Meng to buy furniture for the YOUTHub. it'll arrive thursday, 28 dec between 10 and 1pm.. so will be there setting it up. hope everything falls in place. oh and the foosball table might be arriving that day too!

christmas dinner was at mama's house.. boring. salty turkey. smelly too.. according to my mother and grandmother. then home and sleeep. like finally, man.

so that was christmas for me. one of the many highlights of this festive period definitely was the financial shot in the arm i received from my mum's and g.mum's red packets..

--

boxing day matches: chelsea drew (cashley cole own goal, whahaha); man united won (ronnie brace, uh-huh!). 4 pts gap.

take pee-cher! take pee-cher!!

2006-12-07T15:25:00.000+08:00

Angora Brethren Chapel Church Camp 2006

Being a Christian in a Non-Christian World

Sofitel Palm Resort, JB

2-5 December 2006

on the bus across the causeway: at the midpoint between s'pore and m'sia. there. where the vertical cable support structure is.

sumptuous bak kut teh: near taman sentosa, along the stretch of shophouses where bamboo house is. one claypot isn't enough for the 2 of us. and the you tiao? oooh.. just sedap lah.

cost us about Rm15 each. what a steal.

secret recipe cakes: took away about 19 cakes in total for the cell group, my family.

a slice costs Rm5.50. think the same cakes in singapore costs S$5.50! another steal.

on the way back to city square: stole a shot of this really grumpy driver. don't think he was too pleased when we didn't want to pay his proposed fixed rate of Rm7 to City Square. He took us for lesser, nonetheless!

towards sofitel: after 4 hours odd of scouring City Square for good deals, slippers & cakes, we took a Rm35 taxi ride to sofitel.

the driver commented that there's about only one way to sofitel, that's if you discount taking the NS highway. non wonder this shophouse and the red (is it red?) car looked familiar. i took the same shot last year on the same road when my family were headed to sofitel for the deacons' retreat.

another landmark: yep. this looks familiar too.

porter!: this was in the evening after picking diana & christina from tuas (thanks, bee keong) and dinner at IOI complex.

just too many things to carry on 2 human bodies. thankfully, alvin took our bags in his car to m'sia for us. thank God for this trolley too.

R&R: the plan was to head to sofitel a day earlier than the entire church.. to rest and well.. relax. hence the shopping trips and the solid food you saw earlier.

snooker at the games centre with jeff on day 1 of the camp, before the bulk of the campers arrived.

kaya balls: at Rm2 for 10 of them, i thought it was yet another steal. they were average, at best.

not to mention that it took them about 10-15 minutes for them to prepare mine. poof.

structured games: found some time during structured games to play with the children.. must have been during the jigsaw puzzle game. don't really like those.

david and I: cute or what? david lah, i mean. hmm.. where's bryan?

astro boy: or at least that's what rachel thinks. i was the male with the longest hair in my group.. hence the 10 rubberbands in my hair. those hurt. seriously.

CRABS!: 2 black pepper & 2 chilli ones. And mantou to go along as well.

thanks to esther for offering to buy back.

in case you haven't realised, at Rm19 person, it was another steal. sheesh!

a sight that one only gets in m'sia, isn't it?

what was the answer found in our science textbooks to the question: if birds sit on the cables and lightning strikes the cables, do the birds die?

redloop-ed!: bought this on the way home at jusco tebrau city. Rm329, which is about S$140. jeffrey checked out this range in s'pore the night before we left.. it was about S$199.50!

moreover, the salesgirl said this particular one costs slightly more than the usual Rm265 cos' of the material, which i really thought was different than the rest.

another steal or what.

chicken cordon bleu: the last one before the trip back to s'pore. chicken with cheese oozing out and fries.. deadly combo.

this was just too good to resist. seriously, try it (in m'sia). Rm14.50.

whoohoo!!

Being a Christian in a Non-Christian World.

2006-12-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

the theme for the camp just past me. it was at sofitel. a place that diana and i have fond memories of. but on the last day, uncle yau seng reminded me of another thing to remember of this resort. 9 years ago, i went with my sister and my grandmother to our first church camp at sofitel. my parents weren't there.

on the last night, popo went to the front during a time of open sharing and prayer to offer a prayer to God. that night, she prayed that my father will give his life to Jesus.

years later, God answered that prayer. Papa accepted Christ and got baptised as well. Thank God for that. This year, Uncle YS reminded all with this example that God answers prayer. He then asked us to present our heart's desire to God that morning on the 5th of dec.

i did. God, please hear me. Amen.

apart from this, there were, surprisingly but not regretably, few highlights of the camp:

1. the messages.

2. the time spent with diana.

3. the time spent with the guys, esp during swimming. that was crazy, i really enjoyed myself.

4. my new levi's redloop jeans. and that shameless t-shirt i bought for Rm39.90. :P

5. seeing how God has worked and had a hand in Theon's life.

6. seeing God repairs and mends broken relationships.

7. the effort made by some youth leaders to be closer with their youths.

8. umm.. playing with the twins david & bryan and moses & joshua and also leah and noah (not twins).

9. soccer with the guys and children and captain's ball thereafter.

the list seems like quite a lot to be happy about or thankful for.. well, spiritually, yes. it's quite a good list.. but nothing much in terms of relationships between peers. i think overall, i was very disappointed with the way certain individuals view relationships/friendships with others.

think that's all for the list lah. yeah, a boring camp in terms of activities and all.. but an exciting one in terms of the spiritual lessons to take home.

cheers.

thank you, God.

2006-12-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

for the good results. even if they weren't as good, i thank you for the opportunity to experience you during the studying process. even if they weren't as good, i know you are still good.

and when i'm doing well,
help me to never seek a crown.
For my reward is
giving glory to You.

a quick trip down memory lane..

2006-11-27T03:26:00.000+08:00

glad i posted my thoughts, feelings, emotions whenever big events happpen.. cos it gives me an opportunity to revisit and relive those times good and bad.

it:

1. gave me another opportunity to rethank God for so many things in the past.

2. reminded myself how "bad" and "evil" some of my thoughts and feelings were in the past.. some have gone.. others haven't.

3. made me realise on hindsight that in one of my previous entries after i got rejected from recourse.. i had hoped that i will be downgraded to PES E.. of course it was wished more so then so that I would not have to do recourse.. but later on nearing ORD.. i actually got downgraded due to keractoconus.. some eye problem in my left one.. so thank God for that!

this post might seem a little incoherent.. these were just off the top of my head.. didn't bother to organise them or put them nicely.

too tired.

man united should have beaten the russian-led team.

church camp coming right up. hope it will be a life changing one for all headed there..

ooh and i get to shop and eat a day earlier with jeff.. Wahaha.

goodnight.

you have tere.. i have di..

2006-11-26T01:48:00.000+08:00

hung on our necklaces.. dedicating each goal scored with a ahem... cool idea, huh?

whatever you say..

a Ball of a time.

2006-11-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

happy birthday, ya bugger! ok that bugger'd be me. anyway it's been a really bizarre week to say the least.. well bizarre not really in the bizarre sense.. but bizarre nonetheless.

it was early in the week.. monday or tuesday i think.. bee keong called..

"Hey Terence, wanna meet this Saturday about 11am plus anot?"
(terence: hmm what's going on? why suddenly meet? is it cos of my birthday? or is it diana planning something..)
"Umm.. okay lor. What time?"
"10 plus lah.. after we go to the market."
"ok lah. let me know again."
"ok, bye."
"bye."
(terence: must be diana up to something..)

THEN! around the same day.. sometime in the morning.. Terry Tay calls..
(terence: hmm.. what's going on.. why would he be calling me?)

"eh terry (terry ng) ah, terry (terry tay) ah.. this friday wanna meet for supper anot? or maybe thursday..."
"umm.. ok lor. shouldn't be a problem.. confirm again.."
"should be thursday lah.."
"ok set then."

AND FINALLY! think it was wednesday morning.. received an sms when i was asleep.. woke up about elevenish to read it.. it was situ qiming.

sms: "eh you this saturday got enough people anot?"
"huh, what you talking about? aiyah you free you call me lah.."

"hello, ahh.. this saturday you all enough people anot?"
"huh? what thing?"
"Ooh.. Ahh.. umm.. don't tell me i reveal it.."
"Huh? nvm nvm.. i don't know much.. leave it at that.."

haha. by then i was already suspecting something.. fishy. people who seldom call/contact me.. actually did this week. all in my birthday week. if that's not someone planning something what is?

anyway.. i soon found out more by my own guesses come friday. and yeah there was a plan.. apparently the cat was too big for some people's bag that it was let out.. heh.

I was going to play at the Cage on Saturday! is that cool or what.. but on friday night.. i only knew where and what.. don't really know who yet.. so wait till saturday morning lor.

the whole friday night.. i couldn't sleep.. diana was quite disappointed her surprise thing didn't pull through.. but i reassured her that i had a hard time falling asleep.. and i was up by 730 ready for bee keong to come by at 1030 for the Cage at 11! kan cheong or what..

so i spend some quiet moments with God.. before I got out of bed for a wash up.. those moments with him were great.. great to come back closer to Him after a little stray recently. The topic: Emptiness without God. how apt and opportune! in the devotion book it read..

"..they were reaping a harvest of unhappiness because they were putting selfish leasures first."

aahhh. thank God for that jolt. how appropriate for later that morning.

so i went to wash up.. hair sucks. big time. poof. then went to breakfast of a hotdoggydog bun. and papers.. and there was nothing to do.. and it was only 8 plus! so watch some teevee.. put on sunyanzi.. and then.. at 9am.. door bell rang.. taxi drove off..

"hmm.. must be diana. has to be her. who else?"

well truly it was her. i'm not complaining.. i'm just happy to see her in the morning. she went to telok blangah market to buy my fav prata.. and took a cab (something i've been inculcating in her) here.. so we had breakfast and then she had to go to work.. leaving me to bum around for about half an hour before i'm due to get changed before bee keong arrives.. oh by the way.. ya.. bee keong is supposed to come pick me up.. and drive me somewhere and then finally end up at the cage.. hence his call earlier in the week.. but since that "show" was over.. he just came.. and we drove down.. diana said that there were 2 other surprise people that i would be pleased to see at the Cage. saw jeff yap's car on the ecp.. Hah. too bad.. have a knack for recognising and remembering the car plates of those i know. just ask dennis.. we trained since our flynn park days.. sitting at the carpark all day long.. anyway..

so we made our way there.. finally found the Cage. and when we parked the car.. bee keong opened the boot.. then he realised that he forgot to bring the bags of clothes diana had brought to his house days back... he was really apologetic about it and was very nice to go back and get it.. all the way from kallang to jurong and back! i noticed some stuff in my cupboard missing days back.. well not really missing.. just that some items were out of position.. like the sleeping bag was on the clothes shelf.. was thinking.. who was it that messed up the cupboard.. didn't think much of it then.. so just brushed it aside.. now i know. sneaky diana.

so we played in the meanwhile.. i played barefoot with my tshirt and berms.. no clothes! diana brought an entire bag plus socks shorts street soccer shoes and soccer boots.. she didn't know which one i wanted to wear.. i'm quite particular about such things.. and i noticed that throughout the entire planning..she noticed and noted big and small details and preferences of mine.. so yeah.. i'm grateful.

we had 2 hours of non stop football.. the Cage.. means ball doesn't go out.. play only slows when a goal is scored.. or the keeper just hogs the ball to slow the tempo.. well with music pumping in the background.. tempo was hardly tortoise-like..

scored a number of goals.. but like the ones that i slammed home with my left foot.. and the little dink over jeff yap.. a la henry. perhaps my favourite one today.. arguably the nicest one scored today.. and a peach of a goal at that .. was a chip over the keeper (shan't name who lah..) from the edge of the penalty area into goal. been dreaming of scoring like this for ages.. finally did it today! yikes!

so we had our fun there.. took a few pictures.. which i hope to post it up here.. later..

then jeff yap kindly offered to drop me home.. dennis too.. just that he had to rush off for tuition..

anyway thanks of course goes out to firstly diana for organising this special secret event with personal smses and invitation to those really close to me and many other surprises after i got home..

thanks to dennis for changing his tuition time to fit in soccer with the old neighbour..

thanks to situ for giving up his pilot career (he usually pang puay kee) and finally turning up for this little celebration..

thanks to jeff chan for making a guest appearance on the soccer pitch.. after he hung up his boots due to his knee injury..

thanks to eng soon..for helping to coordinate the administrative part of my birthday celebration at the Cage when diana was at work..

thanks to bee keong who gamely joined in this.. for agreeing to pick me.. bring my stuff.. and for going back to get it.. so that i could truly enjoy my game..

thanks to john tan.. for his appearance.. didn't expect him to be there.. he still as tricky as ever on the pitch.. and commanding too..

thanks to jerry for turning up even though he haven't been totally meeting up often..

thanks to darius for walking to my house before bee keong came.. and putting up a rather funny look when i asked him what he was doing here.. and for taking all the photos! thanks.. i knew you are trustworthy as always..

thanks to james ho.. for coming along too.. grew a lot closer having played footie on alternate sundays.. nice to have him around...

thanks to nathanael and nigel.. the 2 young boys who joined us for the game.. some day they'll play well..when they grow up.. can see the enthusiasm and potential in them..

thanks also to those who tried to come.. but couldn't for some reason.. jeremy tan, timothy, kian ping, titus, dennis hong, andrew, terry tay, boon hock, hmm.. anymore?

what a list..

so i got back home.. chilled.. diana was already here! that's surprising! she's usually quite tu when it comes to leaving work.. overly dedicated. :P

so she gave me her present for me.. and yeah.. liked it a lot.. starting to like the bag that came with it.. maybe it's cos she gave lah, huh.. then we had fun and watched Goal! starring Kuno Becker.. which i'm sure i posted about in my previous posts.. then went to her friend's engagement ceremony and finally to dinner with my family and aunty betty and adrian & ah nette.. and their little boy of course... whose face i will only see next feb.. :P

was a little fatigued actually at dinner.. and then kinda hesitated on starting with this post.. but i know if i don't now, i probably won't. so i'm glad i did it..

okay.. that's it. this is how i spent the day 23 years after i was born.

thanks to my family for dinner as usual.. might seem like standard. but appreciated.

thanks to all who gave me presents.. audrey (gay top, it's ok, i like.), adrian &amp; ah nette (ripcurl polo), papa & mummy (ang pow), popo (ang pow), uncle tong & aunty betty (ang pow), ah girl (ang pow), diana (surprise, hilfiger stuff, rented movies and snacks), Cage guys (soccer ball).

thanks to all who were a part of the plan.

thanks to diana who's the mastermind of the plan.

thanks, lastly, but certainly not least, to God, for his goodness, kind mercy, favour and love to me all these years.

three kings.com: situ, me, jeff

umm. me at the Cage?

Darius & I.. he busted his nose saving a shot.. and became photographer afterwards.

Co-founders of the Flynn Park Gang & the Never Read Book Gang

going past one..

takes a shot!

face not important. poise and shot more important.. according to darius.

dancing.. yeah!

putting it away a la henry. okay. nvm.

first row: me, nathanael, melvin, nigel, john, qiming, james ho, eng soon
back row: darius, bee keong, jeffrey, chee fei, jeffrey yap, james yew, jerry

i'm spinning around..

watch your front! left footed bomber..

taking on the veteran..

shacked out!

wide-angled view of the "oreo" grass pitch.

chipped the keeper from the edge of the box.. pity no shot tho'..

dinner with the family: aunty betty, mother, sister

sister, grandmother, father..

adrian & ah nette.. and their boy..

diana & I and that lopsided lana cake once again..

a gift from the players at the Cage.

that "gay" top from audrey.

movies & snacks for the afternoon..

hilfiger goodies from diana..

whew this has taken a looooooong time to upload. pls excuse the pro-me photos.

the cat got out of the bag. :P heehee.

cheers.

tsk tsk..

2006-11-20T00:51:00.000+08:00

guess which is my favourite month of the year?

was thinking about it that day.. and yeah.. no prizes sorry.. it's november. not only cos' of obvious reasons.. which might be well, not so obvious to some, but also cos.. it's the first month of the school hols.. then you get the feeling of you've a whole long holiday ahead of you.. still have church camp.. christmas ahead.. aaahhhh.

yeah maybe i should name my son, november ng.

Youth hubba bubba.

2006-11-20T00:40:00.000+08:00

what? blog dead? what blog dead? whose blog dead? :P

hmm.. there was this fund raising in church today for the Youth Hub.. really encouraged that the members are so supportive of the youth's effort. oh and encouraged by theon's little act and words before church.. i think he's matured a lot. he's cool.

glad to see andre leading worship today as well.. it's always good to start serving God when He calls.. be careful though, all of us, that we do not seek/crave the glory or recognition that comes with serving at times.

the best team in manchester, united that is, is sitting pretty atop the english premier league. hitting the ground running this season i see.. fergie and his boys..

a free, pretty much free, week coming up.. it's the hols. hah. whaddya expect? more football manager i guess..rushden & diamonds are now in the premier league.. playing european football!

if it's okay with you..

2006-04-06T02:23:00.000+08:00

there is much to say.

sigh. as i changed phones recently, realised how the irrepressible disease known as procrastina as caused me to umm.. well not do what i wanna do. here's the list and it's already after i got round to doing some..

blog: the one with the Sports Bible and how God spoke to me at the Emmanuel House regarding observing the sabbath. my dad's comment about the many rooms in our Father's house. something about the photo file that i prayed about and God answered which i can't recall. oops. goal-scoring exploits. s-league freelancing.

sigh. again. lazy dah deh.

off to watch arsenal vs juve & barca vs benfica.

cheers.

ps. c'mon juve!

that sick gay movie.

2006-03-21T17:14:00.000+08:00

Was thinking about it this morning on the way to dropping sis at school and mum at work..

two men in a movie: internationally acclaimed movie, Brokeback Mountain

two women in that movie: Brokebung Mountain (inspired by single-sex schools like St. Margaret's and St. Theresa's)

two dogs in that same movie: Brokebark Mountain (inspired by Diana's dogs, Max & Lance)

:P

fourth to the finish line..

2006-02-22T12:06:00.000+08:00

boo hoo. just got a call from espnstarsports saying my application for the asst editor/writer position did not make it through to the next round. they were shortlisting 3.. and i was fourth. turn off. but it was a fun and enjoyable experience, pitting my sports knowledge with the "market" and doing that quick editing assignment etc etc.

at least i know this is what God does not have in store for me.

bleah.

Have you ever wondered..

2006-01-28T17:07:00.000+08:00

whether on some part of God's green earth,

someone is crying, someone is laughing, someone is combing his hair, someone's just finished a football game, someone's just finished reading a book, someone is sleeping, someone is being nagged at, someone is awakening, someone is having an operation, someone is dying, someone is just being born, someone is on the phone, someone is in the shower, someone is praying, someone is playing a computer game, someone is buying a flower, someone is receivng a gift, someone is shitting, someone is arguing with someone else, someone is studying, someone is having the time of his life, someone is on guard duty, someone is enlisting for the army, someone is falling down, someone is sneezing, someone is having backache, someone is having the runs, someone is styling his hair, someone is having his hair cut, someone is daydreaming, someone is swimming, someone is competing in some competition, someone is gambling, someone is receiving his salary, someone has just dropped his wallet, someone is trying to impress someone else, someone is cutting his fingernails, someone is having a manicure/pedicure, someone is driving, someone is having a facial, someone is boarding a bus, someone is taking off in an aeroplane, someone is drinking cola, someone is sipping margheritas, someone is wearing his clothes, someone is scolding somebody, someone is jumping off a cliff, someone is white water rafting, someone is skiing, someone is getting married, someone is taking a ride in an ambulance, someone is riding in a fire engine, someone is trapped in a lift, someone is drowning, someone is honking at someone on the road, someone is scoring a goal, someone is irate at their star player for missing a sitter, someone is slanging in a fake accent, someone is rioting, someone is joining a gang, someone is being arrested, someone is being hung, someone is trafficking drugs, someone is engaging a gear as a learner driver, someone is reminisicing about the good ol' times, someone is regretful over the missed opportunity to tell someone "I love you", someone who's eating yusheng, someone who is buying a necklace or a watch or some expensive item with his $500 monthly salary, someone who doesn't appreciate a person for who he really is, someone is barking instructions to his subordinates, someone is sleeping on the job, someone is making an ornament, someone is writing calligraphy, someone is painting a portrait, someone is chilling out, someone is loving someone else, someone is bingeing, someone is being run down by a car, someone is having a holiday, someone is sweeping the floors of the Old Trafford dressing room, someone is missing his loved ones, someone is preparing to go overseas, someone is booking out of camp, someone is tired, someone is pissing, someone just went bankrupt, someone is looking for love, someone is digging his nose, someone is sticking his nose into other people's business, someone is starting his own business, someone is reading this post, someone is so bo liao as me as to type all of this, and many more someones doing other things..

.. all at the same time?

have you? Someone? Anyone?

so many things to say, so little time.

2006-01-28T13:30:00.000+08:00

I cried in my sleep. that night. don't know why, but i did. and when i woke up, it seemed like nothing happened until later that afternoon at work, when i remembered that i cried in my sleep. crazy, but true.
__________

I was at Jurong Point that day for lunch and to buy joachim's birthday present.. then i decided to go to popular to look for 2 books: Memoirs of a Geisha & Rouge State. While the staff was looking for the latter as i stood by the counter, I overheard this exchange between a mother and her daughter, whom I'm sure looks like Charlie Brown's wife though i don't know her name. Or was it his sister??

Mother (as they were paying for their items): Eh? Where's your other book that you wanted?
Charlie Brown's wife: hmm.. don't want lah, this one enough already.
Mother (dressed in working clothes): Never mind, Mummy buy for you.
Terence: *heart melts*

Hah. heart melt. whatever. anyway, i had 2 reactions.

what a sensible young girl.

what a motherly mother, whom i assume, is buying the extra book to make up for time not spent with her daughter cos' of work. i assume, i stress. but anyhow a motherly mother.

didn't find rogue state though.. and i found out that borders were out of stock for that one as well.

i'm just about done with Nabokov's Lolita.. taking an obscene amount of time to finish reading about young Dolores Haze. I was reaching the end of the book as i was on the way to work in my dad's car and just as we reached the office, which meant i had to go, i was about to read the part where we would find out who impregnated young Dolores. It was like those Channel 8 drama serials where the show would conclude just as the "climax" was approaching. It certaintly felt that way then.

I must confess I was never much of a reader. The people know me well enough that I baulk at the thought of reading one of those oscar wilde or some thick book with small prints. Absolutely puts me off. Then again, I enjoy the football biographies, and recently have taken to other books like Tuesdays with Morrie & Lolita..
__________

I was thinking that day on my way to work.. I'm a white horse. haha. army term nonetheless. My dad's the CO of the company and I get "special" treatment cos' i'm the Commanding Officer's son. Of course I don't take advantage of that lah. Never crossed my mind to anyway.
__________

I've been wanting to say this for a long time but due to my suffering from the seemingly incurable illness called procrastina, I've not been able to sit down and blog.

I recognise that I live and lead a much privileged and blessed life as compared to many. I don't mean in comparison with the young princes and princesses of this world or those children whose family name happen to be Gates, Presley, Beckham or Cruise. So many in relation to my peers. I mean there are those whose family are more well off and stuff like that, but I think my life has been pretty smooth sailing thus far, save for the occasional hiccup here and there. Now, I'm not looking to step on anyone's toes here.. so don't misunderstand.

I enjoy a lot of luxuries. Clothes, a nice home, good food, etc so much so that it shames me at times when i think that the money i just invested in a pair of jeans or football boots could have actually made a lot of difference to another individual or family. Having felt that way, selfish me has decided to carry on with such luxuries as much as my pay or my family allows it. shameless. but i hope one can understand that it can be hard to try and live a life more prudent than the one i have right now.

Nevertheless, death is a great equaliser. Whether you're a Beckham or Cruise or simply a Lee or a Ng just like me, you don't bring your riches or poverty with you. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Some believe in reincarnation and stuff like that, i don't . I believe in life, eternal.

Dispute? save it.

Spend the time rethinking your beliefs.
__________

church camp's up this year.. along with youth camp and the children's camp.. don't know about serving in the last one but should be available lah.. if all goes well. All is defined by me getting into SMU Business this August and I resign (haha) from my dad's end May to watch the World Cup.. Jia lat.

I enjoy youth and church camps a lot. it's the feeling of staying together and waking up spending the entire day with your peers, without a care in the world, locked up somewhere on Sentosa or in Malaysia for a retreat with your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Of course with Him as well.

Perhaps that's why many Westerners move out as such a young age to move in with their friends. But they have a different agenda to mine of course.
__________

I can't wait for the designs to be coloured for my new room. It's nerve-wrecking waiting for the designers to get back. I can't wait to see the room. But that's it i think. Don't know if i'm ready to move out of my current room of 20 years.
__________

watched jack neo's "i not stupid too" last night with the family. scoffed at the thought that people would cry (not because Jack was a lousy producer or scriptwriter) at certain scenes in the movie, but was proven wrong anyway. Jack again showed what he is good at: tugging at our heartstrings. He didn't make this film for Hollywood, though if they wanted it I don't think he would mind, he made it for the locals. Your uncles and aunties in the street. Your ah bengs and ah lians under the void deck. Your teenagers struggling with academics as well as their parents. Your parents who are frustrated with their kid's antics that they have to put up with.

There were a few scenes where the parents were disappointed with their on-screen children for something they did wrong. At that moment, I was thinking about how i must have grieved my Father in heaven whenever i choose to sin, despite knowing that what i was about to do was wrong.

overall, i thought that it was a nice show. obviously imcomparable to the blockbusters that Hollywood regularly churns out, but still a good movie given the lack of resources available to Jack and his team. To those critics and mud-hurlers of the local film industry, or anything local for that matter, where's your nationalistic pride? No i'm not exactly a patriot. I don't think I would die for my country, but I would cheer my footballing Lions or appreciate the effort put in by people like Jack and Eric Khoo. If you don't like that film, or that particular sport or that particular song that Jack, Noh Alam Shah or Taufik are doing, at least respect them for what they have aspired to be. Peace.
__________

2006-01-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

All the heavens shout your praise,
Beautiful is our God,
The universe will sing
Hallelujah to You our King!

Thank God it's Friday (when tomorrow comes..)

2006-01-19T19:13:00.000+08:00

Hah.

End of fourth day of the week.

that cool, or what?

anyway,

let's talk about my last 2 days at work. Rather, I talk (no.. type), you listen (ah.. read, i mean). I woke up Wednesday morning feeling sprightly and all ready for work. Surprise surprise, huh? Maybe it's cos' of the clothes I was wearing that morning (I still remember Weisong, my campmate, telling me that one of the ways to counter feeling down is to doll yourself up. okay, not doll up but at least make yourself look good.) Or maybe it's cos' I met the requisite hours of sleep the night before, to be ready for work the next day (7 as recommended by Our Army to be exact). Poof. our army. whatever. Maybe it's cos' that was a Man United match to look forward to in the wee hours of Thursday morning.

Simply, maybe God has helped me to cope and settle in after all.

So I enjoyed the tuesday off to go to my new place to jagar the workers doing some fittings and was expecting to work the full Wednesday-Friday, when my dad told me to leave, with him, at 4.30pm to go off to the new place! Boy, was i silently pleased.

Went for a run (my first in like 3 weeks) when i reached home before heading to Tuck Seng's place for the Christmas Committee debrief. The G-mother was feeling some pain in her leg and wanted to go to the doc's for a jab but they were closed..

The United match went on fine. I watched the first half and with no Nemanja Vidic playing, I allowed myself to doze off with the TV on. Mum came in at 7 to tell me that my dad would leave me the car to drive my G-mother to the doc for a jab at nine-thirity. Woo! Sleep in. Haha.

Reached work at ten-ish. Then got changed for work (manual). I always look forward to driving out for lunch using the company's car (cos' it's easier to drive) with one of the workers, Ali (whose real name is actually Biran). Work was great today. There was a bit of friendly banter and good-natured ribbing between some of the workers and me. Basically 3 of them whom I work regularly with all asked the same question at different times: Ni shi bu shi ji nian hou ba shen yi jie shou? (Will you be taking over the business in a few year's time)

I left at four again today!! With my dad to go to the florist at Thomson (to collect the exercise book that my mother left many weeks ago), to Ubi to collect some work-related equipment and to Geylang to buy bulbs for my current room (but we didn't know the voltage so we couldn't buy any). We headed to the new place to meet the engineer for some discussion on future works for the place and then I'm home! The interior designers are here tonight and also DIANA will be here.

I'm just awaiting tomorrow cos' then it's Friday and then the weekend..

A thought came to mind though: How and when am I going to go through a proper 5-day week?

But then I'm comforted by the fact that in His time, God will provide rest periods for me. just like this week.

I'm thinking of buying some pants for the new year.. those chequered ones. But I'm not sure what to match them with.. top and bottom.

it's getting late. where's diana?

P.S. I got my bonus from the company. I never expected one as I only begun work this month. So thank God for that.

fears and tears.

2006-01-16T21:26:00.000+08:00

Work has been okay for the past 2 weeks. For the record, I'm now an employee at my dad's company. Learning the ropes right from the bottom, working with those on the ground and maybe warming the boss' seat one day. Hehheh. To be here (not that it took a monumentous effort), for one, I have had to give up my ambition of working in the mass communication industry as a sports writer, amongst other dream vocations like copywriting, acting & filming. Give up leather shoes for my safety boots. Give up my power suits for my manual-labour clothes. Give up my media industry for media used to wash metal parts..

Anyway, back to where I was.. or am..

Going into my 3rd week at Additech, I couldn't help feeling that sense of dread, which included chest pains, a heavy heart, a long face & a pair of sunken shoulders, that I felt in my first 2 weeks at the office. Then, I got by with reading up on the business over the web, preparing forms to document the processes involved, visiting the Malaysia factory and even leaving at 2pm to line up and buy bak-kwa at visit-only-once-a-year Lim Chee Guan's as a gift for our customers. I believe the devil is trying to lull me into a state of mind that I don't like the manual work behind. On the contrary, I actually prefer working behind then staying in the office (unless it's using the Net :P) and getting paper cuts.

I had New Year's Day& Hari Raya Haji to break the monotony and bore of a straight 5-day work week the past fortnight. This week? I'm looking at 5-days of workworkwork. Actually 4 now that Monday's work is over. Hoo-ray! I had also been looking forward to the weekends as well and this week, I'll just take it slow and look foward to each night or evening after work and let the next day' work worry about itself. Thank the Lord for being able to think and feel like that.

I think me dreading going to work is mainly down to me not being able to fulfill my job scope. Or KPI as they call it in the army. Supposed to learn the processes behind, but am unable to totally put them into practice for fear of spoiling the parts and incurring unnecessary costs and also because some workers there are afraid of asking me to do work because I am towkay-kia. mai siao siao.

So, given my bleak outlook of work, it is no wonder I had that dreaded feeling the last few hours of Sunday (yesterday) night. I still remember it. It was not quite full-blown that feeling, but it was there. Didn't want to sleep; didn't want to wake up for work. This is not like kiddish stuff i tell you. This is serious. I was hoping to fall sick, hoping the knee injury (an old injury) that I picked up at football yesterday morning would "force" me to stay at home. I just miss waking up late and still being able to lie in bed not having to wake up to go anywhere.

But then, God in His mercy gave me a thought. Do I want to go to work as I am already doing, or fly to America to study like Jeremy, or do I want to enlist in the Army all over again like Andrew, Xi Wern, Titus, Melvin, Amos and Aaron? Without a shadow of a doubt, I want to go to work at Additech. Period. End of feeling down.

One thing I regret though. Whenever I had these down emotions or unsure moments, I didn't always turn to God. Just like my university applications. I view me being able to get into a local uni to study business as a sign that it's God's plan for me for the future. But that's another story altogether.

After the familiarity of the office setting and whatever negative feelings I had of it came rushing back to me as I walked in to office this morning, I looked to God to ease my minor depression and prepared myself for QT at my dad's table (i have none to call my own, fyi). I flipped open to 15 January in the RPG devotion booklet and immediately confessed not doing devotions yesterday, the Lord's day. And also Saturday, if we are into really being specific. I guess I'm one of those who turn to God only when I need Him. that's bad. Then me eyes glossed over to the facing page and immediately caught sight of the heading for the day's devotions: The Trial in Gethsemane. !!?!? What? then I looked back at Sunday's heading and it read: The temptation of Jesus.

Okay, what I experienced at that moment can potentially be lost on you all because my immediate reactions were 2-fold. First, I felt God had answered my prayer by timing today's devotion: The Trial in Gethsemane. I don't know if what I was experiencing is a trial but i certaintly felt that way and was excited to see what God had in store for me as I encountered "The Trial inAdditech".

Secondly, I felt God was rebuking me for not doing my QT yesterday because I would have been primed to share at youth sunday school if I had done my QT on "The Temptation of Jesus" as they were doing a study on James, which touched on the topic of.. you got it.

Trials and temptations.

What an amazing 2 days it has been. Just one thing though, because i didn't do QT and thus would have been able to share, I felt that I missed the boat. Missed the opportunity to share.

More on today's devotions though. It was taken from Luke 22:34-46:.

39Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. 40On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." 41He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, 42"Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." 43An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. 44And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground.

45When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. 46"Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."

AND Hebrews 5:7-9:

7During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. 8Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered 9and, once made perfect, he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him 10and was designated by God to be high priest in the order of Melchizedek.

11We have much to say about this, but it is hard to explain because you are slow to learn. 12In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God's word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! 13Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. 14But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.

My reaction to the first passage? I am exactly like the disciples. To the second one? That I must follow the example of Jesus who offered prayers to the only One who can save me from my troubles.

BUT what i felt spoke more to me were the verses that followed. In short, I should look for solid spiritual food, not milk. I felt that God once again showed His perfect timing as one of the main reasons why I left the youth ministry 2 years back was because of my lack of knowledge of the Word and to improve my foundations in the Word, but 2 years on, I'm still feeding on spiritual milk.

And here He is rebuking me, telling me that "by this time [I] ought to be a teacher, [yet I] need someone to teach [me] the elementary truths of God's word all over again."

Whoever said that the Word was not alive?

I must confess though that doing QT there was not without care. I didn't know how my father would react to me doing QT at work, though technically work starts only at 8.30 am and also I was not sure about letting the workers see me read the Bible. Argh! I regretted that feeling as it just plainly showed my ashamedness of the Word and my faith. Me of little faith. Wasn't faith what we were studying last Friday in cell group? And here I was not able to exercise it.

I shared at cell as well, about my work and also about the poor condition of the toilet at the factory. Later on in the book that we were studying, The Walk, God challenged me to exercise servanthood and faith: Could you serve God by scrubbing toilets if that's what He wanted you to do?

terence: ?!?!? got so zun or not?

Anyway, I stepped into the toilet sometime this morning and to my pleasant surprise and later regret, the toilet was sparkling clean. Okay not really, but definitely sparkling as compared to before it was washed. And you know what? I DID think about going down on Saturday (i work five days) to exercise servanthood (towkay-kia) and faith to wash that toilet! But i did a NATO. No Action, Talk Only. So, I missed that boat as well.

I mean what's my suffering compared to Jesus'?

After my QT reading what Jesus went through, I felt I was without reason to feel down. So I courageously albeit forcedly (if there's such a word) got changed to my can-be-dirtied clothes and went down to the ground.

You know as I write all these, I fear. I fear that I will be persecuted and stereotyped by my non-Christian friends, neighbours & relatives that I'm some freak blinded by Christianity, etc. Fact is, i'm not. And I want all of you, my non-believing loved ones to know that I'm praying for you (whenever i remember) and that you should really give Jesus a chance before you shut him out totally. I'm not perfect. That's for sure. That's why I need to rely on Him.

So what say you, my non-believing "brother" from another mother?

Overall, I think I'm resistant to Change. I hate Change. Not when I'm not the one to initiate it. Not when I'm not prepared for it. I want to be in control of the situations I'm in. Ever since polytechnic and army have I been feeling down whenever i'm placed in a new environment. Worrying about what people think of me, whether I did something to piss people off.. Perhaps God is allowing me to go through such trials, as that of Additech, to rely on His strength and not my own & to put my confidence in Him and not on worldly desires or gains.

I suppose we all have our weaknesses and strengths. Nevertheless, I'm glad that God in His mercy, allowed me to change one thing: my destination after my physical death. I'm headed to Heaven because of what Jesus did for all of us sinners on the cross.

Are you afraid of Change as well? Or are you more afraid of where you're headed after death?

Take time to ponder my last question, dear reader. Not too long, though. Dare to change.

Cheers. Have a nice day.

P.S. Am I able to post my honest feelings and thoughts now that I have a role to play as a youth leader?? Even if they are angry thoughts at times?

P.P.S. God showed that He is faithful: I needn't really go to work tomorrow cos' my boss, my father, told me to go to the new house to oversee some construction work and if it's past noon i don't have to go back!! Whoopee!!

P.P.P.S. I think I have been blogging since 9.30pm.

high wind. big thunder. no rain.

2006-01-16T21:07:00.000+08:00

.. that happens when God's Word or Jesus are sidelined when people preach.

I'm not preaching today. Don't know if i ever would in my life. But my entry today definitely will NOT sideline God or His Word.

I had my first meeting with my new youth group yesterday in church after a year's hiatus from the youth ministry. Or any other ministry for that matter. I have been praying, making sure that this was what God wanted me to do ever since Uncle Kian Peng called me about joining the group 2 Saturdays ago. Talking with selected individuals, I came to the conclusion: why NO?

I mean I've been looking to serve in a ministry in this new year since the last, and have been praying (not so frequently, i must admit) for God to open doors for me. I ushered in 2006 without any idea of a ministry that I could serve in till Uncle KP buzzed. Perfect opportunity. My decision was also made easier knowing that the group was waiting to welcome me with their collective open arms and also having played LOTS of captain's ball during the last Decemer holidays.

I am determined to improve in areas where I had previously failed the last time out in this similar role. I would like to be involved in the lives of these 5 youths, meeting up with them, praying for them, calling them & being a listening ear to their problems. I hope they'll continue to be open and share with me issues that make or break them.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." - 2 Timothy 3:16-17

So, pray with me as I seek to be the vessel which God will use to teach, rebuke, correct and train in righteousness these youths, that they may be equipped for the work He has laid out for them.

I have been doing my quiet time more regularly these days on the way to work or at work. Just that day, something in my quiet time caused me to realise how real Jesus Christ is and how major a part He played in history, despite our tendencies to overlook or gloss over the fact that He once walked on this earth just because it happened so long ago. Approximately 2006 years to be more exact.

Where exactly is Jesus in your life today, dear reader?

a wisdom tooth, a lot of time & a not best-pleased grandmother.

2005-11-18T11:24:00.000+08:00

yup.

no doubt about the title, this time. tooth's acting up again. think whenever it starts growing a little more.. then my mouth aches the day after.. which is now.. and today.

too much time on my hands that's why i'm blogging. was supposed to give a lift to my grandmother to the market as her leg was aching. was supposed to wake up at 745 and leave at 8.. woke up at 805, found out that the g-mother had left and got a piece of my mother's mind to bring back to sleep with me. sucky. but needed that sleep.

met up with my mass comm friends the night b4.. was a good time reminiscing about past adventures and escapades around the school..

was reading about my previous entry.. about 2 or 3 entries ago.. which dates last december!! was going to tanjong puteri after i passed my driving test.. hahahahaha

well we're are going again THIS year.

whoopee.

i think.

right?

it'll be fun.

hmpfh.

whatever.

sigh.

ok.

bye.

it's just the ghost of me..

2005-10-14T13:02:00.000+08:00

spookie.. not now.. in a few months time..

can't believe i'm actually blogging.. always tot it would take a highly significant event or a monumentous occasion like me winning Toto (no, i don't bet..) to blog..

actual reason: bored out of my skin.

i'm done with the papers for the day.. done with email.. done with football updates.. done with my delicious breakfast.. done with yahoo pool.. done with fantasy football.. even played some music.. yet I still have the whole afternoon ahead of me..

i know what i can do.. read Nabokov's Lolita.. find a job.. do my research for Asian Games.. find a job.. prepare to lead cell tonight.. find a job.. go for a run later.. find a job. *yawn*

anyway, it's been a pretty chill out week..
haha.. actually it's been like that for a while already..
let's see i had a voice test on monday at MediaCorp.. which went not so good.. AARRGGHHH! shant talk about it now.. it still affects me..
then i was so sad afterwards.. i decided to layoff the jobhunting for a day.. a day then became 2.. then 3 hahaha. why don't some company head hunt me..

Yo! yo! right here.. between my eyes.. yoo hoo!

.. nobody?

anyway.. i laughed, cheered and teared (almost, unlike a certain trojan) at Kuno Becker's character in GOAL!.. for the uninitiated, it's a soccer trilogy about a talented player from Mexico (no, it's L.A. .. ok it's L.A.) who finally made it at the Toon after several hurdles.. shan't say anymore.. y'all should go out and catch it..

he's gonna go to real madrid.. in the second part.. where Becks is going to be his mentor, which means David's gonna have a bigger role in the movie.. disaster says Diana. I say.. Way to go!! but let's see his acting then.. oh and then the finale just before the 2006 World Cup.. Can't wait for them..

some grouses though.. Kuno can't kick the ball properly.. like he doesn't strike it like how a lad, any lad from brazil, whose name would definitely start with 'R', would do so.. Bah! whatever lah.. he can juggle and do some neat tricks.. given that he only picked up this game for the movie..

i think he's gonna face some passport problems in the later editions of the show.. given that he's illegal in L.A.

let's see. I'm actually enjoying blogging right now.. that's strange.. i wonder though.. how many out there would be reading this.. given that the last time i blogged was around the time we all changed our years from 2004 to 2005.. hahhah!

there's a wedding to attend tomorrow.. Terence Lee and Ann Ni's wedding. at Regent i think, or is it Royal..

then there's nothing to do after that..

oh and by the way.. mother nature has been raging recently.. hope you all know why.. ask me if you aren't sure.

cheers..

I'm back.. for now.

...

2005-08-26T11:26:00.000+08:00

it's over i tell you.. it's finally over.

.....

2005-01-07T06:57:00.000+08:00

Morning has broken,
Like the first morning,
Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird;
Praise for the singing,
Praise for the morning,
Praise for them springing
Fresh from the Word.

Thank you God for the talk with CPT Darren last night..Thank you for teaching me the deeper truths in the Word.. To feed on solid food and not milk.. Thank you for letting me know that the truth shall set me free..

Thank you.. God.. so please help me..

Amen.

Kan-cheong spider..

2004-12-09T19:42:00.001+08:00

don't know why.. just felt like that the whole of monday.. was worse at night though.. my mind was on the then-impending driving test the next morning.. went for my last revision monday night... just changed the shoes i was going to drive in last week.. I used to wear my old adidas pair.. but i found it tough to get "biting point" with that one.. so i swopped it with my new Zara pair..which i got using the vouchers from the youths that I received on my birthday.. that pair's much thinner..the sole i mean.. so i prayed that God will help me get used to the new pair.. which i did fairly quickly..

I always had a problem with the circuit slopes.. so i practised that like crazy that last lesson.. previously, i didn't used to have problems with the S or crank course.. but during those last 2 lessons.. kinda screwed up a bit..striked kerb in S course.. i even knocked a pole during vertical parking.. which never happened before.. sigh.. anyway.. i was ready as i could be at the end of monday's revision..instructor wished me well and i was on my way..

7th December 2004 was always going to be a day I would never forget.. had i gone into Tekong that fateful oct 21.. i would have passed out on 7th December.. now that that wasn't going to happen.. how "coincidental" that i would be taking my TP on my supposed passing-out date! This was made more queer given i had to stop driving lessons earlier cos' i was going to go in! This is testament that God answers prayers.. according to His time. Before I was supposd to go in on 21 Oct, I prayed that God would allow me to at least pass my TP before my BMT so that I could drive on the weekends.. well it's sort of answered.. He makes all things beautiful in His time.. now the only thing left for me is.. sad to say.. go for BMT.. but we'll talk about that sometime other..

I remember when I was there on monday night.. the re-test date for Class 3 (cars lah basically..) candidates was like 7 February 2005.. the morning of my test.. it was 14 Feb..(tot to myself.. hmm.. not bad valentine's day..) after i printed my test slip.. I glanced and saw it had become 17 Feb.. (i was like..ehh dont leh..so long..) anyway.. arrived at BBDC at 0845.. warm up was 0915 and test an hour later.. by 0900.. the warmup instructor collected my booklet.. I was assigned Car 1.. hmm... so 0915 came and i went.. did the warmup all okay.. instructor told me to watch out for hazards and drive safely.. Jeremy Chng and Jeremy Tan had earlier wished me well..Chng told me to "bring back my Class 3 [license]" to camp.. i was like.. okay.. i hope so too.. came back then was told to wait at level 2.. it was an agonising 25 minutes wait before 1015..at 1005 they called us into the room to ballot for test routes.. I was assigned Test route 1.. hmm.. okay i thought.. proceeded to check what's test-route 1..and horror of horrors.. it was Teck Whye area!! I have a phobia of that place..pple tell me it's high traffic and whatever.. definitely prefer the Bukit Batok housing estates.. or so i tot..

waited in the room for a while more..then my tester came.. his name was Soon i think..no not Teng Soon.. 1st to leave! something going on with the number 1 today.. after my warmup earlier.. my car was parked in lot 11..so as i made my way down to the car.. i glanced at my watch.. was 1020.. tot to myself.. someone out there's praying for me.. put my bag in the backseat and the tester and i got in and he said.. turn left.. I was like.. huh? so fast.. didn't say it lah of course..did my "acting".. adjusted the mirrors.. its all about acting lah driving.. just to show.. think i took too long.. he went "Turn Left" again.. okay lor.. signal left check left.. go..engaged 2nd gear before the bend.. was getting ready for him to hit the dashboard..that would have meant Emergency brake or e-brake..didn't happen.. turn right at 4.. into S course.. kinda made a mistake there.. crossed the centre line.. then hesistated cos there was a car coming... negotitated the S course well... as well as the vertical parking.. then went up slope to do umm.. slope.. thank God that was okay.. remember mumbling a quick prayer under my breath.. as soon as i released my handbrake he was like "ok turn left.. no. 9 directional change.." did that okay too.. then did my last circuit requirement.. parellel parking..remember thinking to myself..i have 6 items to do in circuit.. .."ehh how many i do already ah?".. did the parellel parking.. almost done when the tester said.. "okay move out".. I blur then.."huh move out?" "yeah".. okay lor he call me move i move lor.. then he said "no. 50 turn right out of circuit" as i tot to myself.."ehh got do anything wrong meh?" Friends once told me that testers either mark when you a make a mistake or they mark at the end of it all.. after the circuit.. i didn't see him marking.. so that was good.. decided to be unconcerned by his actions.. but instead to concentrate on my own perfomance. I was surprisingly calm during the test..God's wonderous ways again.. so i went out of circuit.. was glad that i didn't have to turn right out of circuit.. that would have been tough.. think i did the road okay.. changed lanes pretty fast.. this bike gave way to me.. think he saw i was on test..Had earlier prayed for good road conditions.. amazing how God works.. Towards the end.. as i realised i was on my way back.. I became more relaxed.. that also meant i lost a bit of concentration.. wanted to change gear never clutch in.. but think tester didn't see that.. made a u-turn.. and headed back to BBDC.. upon turning onto the stretch of road leading to BBDC.. Tester went " turn right.. back to office.." that kinda calmed me down.. but also made a mental note to not mess up on the home stretch.. stopped the car in front of the centre..before i had stopped.. the tester had already opened the door and was halfway out of the car.. hmm.. so eager to go out.. is it fail already? in total he marked my paper 4 times.. which means that had anyone been an 8 point penalty.. i would have a good chance of failing.. tot to myself..done my best.. cant change anything now..went into his office at level 2.. sat down.. heard my verdict.. "Bukit Batok area lane change abruptly, parallel parking turn steering on the spot.." he then proceeded to write the points.. tried to sneak a peek but his hands were strategically placed to cover my result.. he handed me my test slip... Was 1st to leave and1st to return.. and I was surprised, shocked and definitely over-the-moon when I saw that i was 1st in my group to pass! No. of points = 8, Result = passed.. couldn't stop smiling to myself after that..gave thanks for my result..then proceed to make my license..

Whew.. what a day... went back to camp and Jeremy Chng grinned when he saw me..how? he asked.. passed.. i replied.. "alright man! Congratulations..." who says that clerks dont have the same kind of camaraderie soldiers have in the field? he and i havd become closer cos' of work.. in fact all the NSFs have.. save for some.. after all.. we're in a war ourselves.. *grin*...

so that was that.. relived that I would not have to wait till Feb... drove home that night.. father picked me from Jurong Point.. and have been doing so since.. parking's a problem without the poles.. but i'm getting there..

That night.. Singapore came back to draw 1-1 with Vietnam.. nearly winning even.. tonight they face Indonesia.... i hope we win.. i'm a die-hard S'pore football fan.. regardless of what pple say.. still have that "Singapore Die-Hard fans" striped polo tee Uncle Tong gave me during the Malaysia Cup days..

I'm a sentimentalist. don't like to throw stuff that have special meaning to me.. that's why my room's a mess..

Dennis is enlisting this week.. he got his posting recently only.. cos he was pending medical status.. they decided not to downgrade him.. he decided to go in and be downgraded..

Diana's working now.. my hardworking better half.. she said she was to work till 12 plus tonight.. which kinda hurts me..not cos we cant meet.. but cos she's gotta work till so late.. otherwise she can't go on the cell group retreat tomorrow..am proud of her commitment to completing a task when she is umm.. tasked with one.. we're sending Qiming off as well.. he's going overseas.. to Tekong tomorrow.. Dennis' is the day after...

btw.. thinking of getting the motorola e398 phone.. but its camera phone..so sigh.. like the "hello moto" phrase as well...

Off for a good time at tanjong puteri golf resort..

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in september
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

Why why tell me why?

2004-12-04T19:56:00.000+08:00

I dont understand the way people do things..

Ms Wong is seemingly nice one-on-one with you.. yet she does ridiculous things like tell on us to the ISM when she could have just gently reminded us of mistakes made.. for example, the non-submission of off-in-lieu dates.. Why do you wanna jeopardise your relationship with your clerks? Yes, this is the army, rank counts and with an order from you comes compliance on our part. But is this what workin in the Army is all about? Are you unable to motivate your subordinates to work apart from regimentation? If so, i think such people have failed as supposed leaders. Why could MWO Tan lead in a special, "I'm-in-it-with-you" way and others can't?

If you think people are people and can never change, you are wrong. CI was a real ass in the past. Everyone knows that. Everyone feels that. You can't deny the truth. But look at him in recent weeks, he's changed for the better! I won't say a lot, but at least he makes the effort to improve the relationship btw himself and the NSFs! How many of you saw him going up to Jeremy and congratulate Jeremy on a job well done for the recent Stocktake Exercise? I did.. And I was glad that happned.. Even Jeremy, long-time championer of the "Hate CI" campaign confessed to me that CI has changed. Sigh.. It pisses people off when you are 2 faced.. Agree? Agreed. Don't be fake, don't double-cross us. I wonder if such individuals have considered whether they would like their own children to be treated this way when they enter the Army of the workforce.

I want to talk about a certain couple in church. They feel that their daughter is in bad company by mixing around with the youths girls in church. They feel that going out to the movies during the holidays is bad, because there's a lot of filthy stuff going on out there. Agreed. But everywhere you go today you face such corrupted stuff.. So are you going to lock your daughter up in the room all day? She did well for her exams.. why not let her out to relax with her friends.. she topped the group of church youths her age during last year's PSLE.. wasn't good enough for you.. She did well again this year.. not good enough for you.. what is? Please don't criticise and judge the youth girls just by reading their blogs. Come out of your shell and talk about it.. If you are not happy with the way things are run in church, voice it out.. aren't we supposed to correct one another.. you think the way you bring up your kid is good.. sure I don't know what it means to bring up a kid.. but i jolly well know better than you about the traps the world lay for teenagers these days..

You think there's no life change in activities that the youth girls participate in? How about the church retreat that your daughter's group is having now? Even with topics like "Loving and living with your parents" and "Assurance of salvation" you feel that there won't be life change. Is it an issue of no life change? Or are you just afraid that the youths and the young adults leaders will tell your daughter how to love and live with unlovable and un-livable parents like both of you.

I think both of you are myopic in your view of things that happen. Why else would the Christmas outreach be the way it is? One domineering young adult, seven other followers.. you are the freaking leader.. take charge or something..

You talk about leaving this church and stuff like that.. you'd be no different than those who have left church before you just because they themselves couldn't come to terms with their own shortfalls and wrongdoings in the presence of their peers.

Seriously, I think your surname tells me a lot about you. Chickenshit.

And what does my counsellor say to all these? You will never understand why people do things the way they do. The choices, the decisions, the actions.. Don't be bothered about them.. Do things that are required of you and no one would have a chance to say anything about you.

On a more cheerful note, I am into coloured bracelets these days.. I recently got one yellow one with the words "Live Strong" on them, from the Lance Armstrong foundation in support of cancer patients.. Just saw 2 more that i want..Pink for breast cancer and Blue for leukemia.. anyone wanna split the cost for a pack of ten?